back by popular demand...

[topaz119]

... or at least back because I was talking about it earlier and it's always good for me to remind myself, because while fandom does generally make me happy, sometimes the specifics make me crazy. Originally posted in 2008 (and loosely aggregated for years previously.)

Stuff to Remember When Fandom Isn't Keeping You** Sane

**as authored by my subconscious, and where "you" == "ME" / YMMV [where "you" == YOU]

When fandom is pissing you off, go back to the source.

Stay off the boards, whether they be TWOP, show boards, ONTD, or the JJB. They're not nearly as clever/amusing as they think they are, even when they're at the top of their game.

Fandoms change. They grow and morph and you don't want them to not do that, because then they're dead. If you find a fandom that is perfect for you, say THANK YOU and enjoy it for as long as it lasts, because it WILL change. Think of it fondly over the years as you enjoy what else comes along. (RIP, The Bronze (circa 1st & 2nd Season Buffy))

It's not cheating to tailor your reading/watching/participating. Even if you've previously loved everything that a person has written (whether meta or fic), it's OKAY to step back and say, "wow, are WE on different pages here," and move on. You're in a different place, she's in a different place, you're both coming from different experiences--what might piss you off to the nth degree doesn't necessarily have to even blip her radar. That does not make you a fragile flower or her a insensitive douche. It means you have differing opinions. Full stop.

Remember how much you hated grad school? Remember the totally disbelieving look on D's face when you mentioned a PhD? Right. Critical analysis is like poison for you. It sucks the joy out of not only that which is being analyzed, but out of everything in your life. Stop thinking that you "should" enjoy it. You don't. Deal.

It's not fandom--it's people. Fandom is not especially wanky--trust me on this. You want wank? Go to the full round of elementary/middle/high school PTA meetings that you're signed up to attend. And seriously, there are asshats in fandom, just as much as there are asshats in any other group. If you want to run around and get upset about every idiot saying idiotic things, have at it. But recognize that you can end up spending every free second doing that.

Once you've put something out there, it's *out there*. Forever. And ever. Plan accordingly (aka, motherfuckingTHINK before you pop off at the mouth.)

The fandom experience is a continuum; people join in at all points. You really don't have to rehash the "why fanfic/slash/rpf?" discussion *again*, not unless you want to, but it's okay for others to do it. Let it slide. (Unless they're being stupid and/or insulting, in which case, pop some popcorn and settle in. Also, this would be a good time to check old links so the next time Teh Stupid happens, you can lay down that comment that says, "god, this discussion is *so* 1997" and leave.)

...and most importantly:

You really *don't* need all that swag. Honestly. No, really. Trust me--okay, fine. You're right: it *is* too much fun. I'm sure we can find someplace to put it all.

Comments

[without_me]

...and most importantly:

You really *don't* need all that swag. Honestly. No, really. Trust me--okay, fine. You're right: it *is* too much fun. I'm sure we can find someplace to put it all.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA heart-eyes 4eva.

[intrigueing]

This is an awesome list and you should feel awesome for writing it ;) Quite a lot of it applies to me too.

(Well, not the analysis part exactly...I love analysis of the details of the phenomena that I like, but critical analysis? Bluh. Behold the field in which I grow my fucks and see that it is barren.)

[turps]

Excellent points, and the last one made me laugh thinking of my spare room full of Njunk.

[sperrywink]

It's not fandom--it's people.

So true, omg. Why don't people recognize this????

[alphaflyer.livejournal.com]

These are SO useful. I particularly liked "Critical analysis is like poison for you. It sucks the joy out of not only that which is being analyzed, but out of everything in your life. " It's why I don't have a PhD in English. I quit the PhD program (and converted my course credits to finish my as yet incomplete MA) the day someone in one of my classes said that "the critic is more important than the writer".

Oh, and here are the promised trade goods: my 15 Rules of Diplomacy. (Also applicable to any job requiring you to negotiate stuff, or deal with people who think they're important. Or just life in general, really ...)

Rule #1: Few Things Are Ever As They Appear

Rule #2: Don’t Rely On Your Briefing Notes

Rule #3: Be Kind to the Support Staff

Rule #4: A Good Toast Can Make A Lousy Lunch

Rule #5: Sightsee While You Can

Rule #6: The Most Useful Meetings Happen Over Coffee

Rule #7: When in Doubt, Dance

Rule #8: In Rome Do As The Romans Do

Rule #9: Talk is Cheap – Results Cost Extra

Rule #10: Always Keep Your Game Face On

Rule #11: Read Between The Lies

Rule #12: If Your Hand Sucks, Play A Wild Card

Rule #13: Alliances Are Fragile Things

Rule #14: Know When To Hold ‘Em

Rule 15: Know When to Fold ‘Em

[spyforaday.livejournal.com]

I would like to thank you - and alphaflyer - for the life (inside and outside of fandom) lessons. Words to live by, for sure. And how is it that I missed "The Bronze"? I would've loved that. But, I'll be happy with my X Files Gossamer Project memories...

[destina.livejournal.com]

Wise advice, every bit of it. <3

[ariadnes-string.livejournal.com]

Excellent advice, especially It's not fandom--it's people. Except, of course, I loved grad grad school and critical analysis *g* (I know what you're really saying is you can't teach yourself to love things you don't love--this is true).

[geneli4.livejournal.com]

i need a Stuff To Do With The Swag Of Fandoms Past post...

[babygotbass.livejournal.com]

BUT I DOOOOOOOOOOO NEED ALL THAT SWAG ;___;

*clings to tub of NSYNC school supplies*

[kaelie.livejournal.com]

Right on, girl. :) Right on.

[brandywine28.livejournal.com]

Ugh, THANK YOU for this. I don't know why it's so easy to forget that you're allowed to disengage from exhausting and/or irritating nonsense - but it IS.

[withdiamonds.livejournal.com]

But I can have the "a drabble is 100 words, not 99, not 101, not 314, not 1259, goddammit THAT'S A FICLET" discussion as many times as I want, right?

As always when you post this, its timely and perfect.

[verdande-mi.livejournal.com]

Some excellent points here! My fandom life is very much tailored to suit me! Keeping to your own corners are totally fine :)

[msktrnanny.livejournal.com]

Always like seeing this come around.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

It's not cheating to tailor your reading/watching/participating.

Oh, man, I wish more people realized this was possible and/or did it.

[carta.livejournal.com]

Critical analysis is like poison for you.

INDEED. I am not one of those people who can look at something that I love, dissect it to uncover the faults, discuss those faults, and still love it at the end. It is forever tainted - so I don't. No crit from ames!

[geckoholic]

Good post. Yes. XD

[matchboximpala.livejournal.com]

That is such a great post.

I am tired of people making their big statements about how fandom isn't the same anymore and they aren't getting anything out of it so they are leaving.

Fine, move on, and shut up about it.

I got into SPN fandom five years ago and yes, it has changed. I miss some of my favorite writers but I have found others. I miss some of the people I regularly corresponded with, but I found new friends. Maybe I've been lucky, but the SPN fandom on LJ seems to be a more positive, supportive place than it was when I joined.

Of course, that is probably because I'm rarely on tumblr. :D