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back by popular demand...
... or at least back because I was talking about it earlier and it's always good for me to remind myself, because while fandom does generally make me happy, sometimes the specifics make me crazy. Originally posted in 2008 (and loosely aggregated for years previously.)
Stuff to Remember When Fandom Isn't Keeping You** Sane
**as authored by my subconscious, and where "you" == "ME" / YMMV [where "you" == YOU]
When fandom is pissing you off, go back to the source.
Stay off the boards, whether they be TWOP, show boards, ONTD, or the JJB. They're not nearly as clever/amusing as they think they are, even when they're at the top of their game.
Fandoms change. They grow and morph and you don't want them to not do that, because then they're dead. If you find a fandom that is perfect for you, say THANK YOU and enjoy it for as long as it lasts, because it WILL change. Think of it fondly over the years as you enjoy what else comes along. (RIP, The Bronze (circa 1st & 2nd Season Buffy))
It's not cheating to tailor your reading/watching/participating. Even if you've previously loved everything that a person has written (whether meta or fic), it's OKAY to step back and say, "wow, are WE on different pages here," and move on. You're in a different place, she's in a different place, you're both coming from different experiences--what might piss you off to the nth degree doesn't necessarily have to even blip her radar. That does not make you a fragile flower or her a insensitive douche. It means you have differing opinions. Full stop.
Remember how much you hated grad school? Remember the totally disbelieving look on D's face when you mentioned a PhD? Right. Critical analysis is like poison for you. It sucks the joy out of not only that which is being analyzed, but out of everything in your life. Stop thinking that you "should" enjoy it. You don't. Deal.
It's not fandom--it's people. Fandom is not especially wanky--trust me on this. You want wank? Go to the full round of elementary/middle/high school PTA meetings that you're signed up to attend. And seriously, there are asshats in fandom, just as much as there are asshats in any other group. If you want to run around and get upset about every idiot saying idiotic things, have at it. But recognize that you can end up spending every free second doing that.
Once you've put something out there, it's *out there*. Forever. And ever. Plan accordingly (aka, motherfuckingTHINK before you pop off at the mouth.)
The fandom experience is a continuum; people join in at all points. You really don't have to rehash the "why fanfic/slash/rpf?" discussion *again*, not unless you want to, but it's okay for others to do it. Let it slide. (Unless they're being stupid and/or insulting, in which case, pop some popcorn and settle in. Also, this would be a good time to check old links so the next time Teh Stupid happens, you can lay down that comment that says, "god, this discussion is *so* 1997" and leave.)
...and most importantly:
You really *don't* need all that swag. Honestly. No, really. Trust me--okay, fine. You're right: it *is* too much fun. I'm sure we can find someplace to put it all.
Stuff to Remember When Fandom Isn't Keeping You** Sane
**as authored by my subconscious, and where "you" == "ME" / YMMV [where "you" == YOU]
...and most importantly:
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You really *don't* need all that swag. Honestly. No, really. Trust me--okay, fine. You're right: it *is* too much fun. I'm sure we can find someplace to put it all.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA heart-eyes 4eva.
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(Well, not the analysis part exactly...I love analysis of the details of the phenomena that I like, but critical analysis? Bluh. Behold the field in which I grow my fucks and see that it is barren.)
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So true, omg. Why don't people recognize this????
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Oh, and here are the promised trade goods: my 15 Rules of Diplomacy. (Also applicable to any job requiring you to negotiate stuff, or deal with people who think they're important. Or just life in general, really ...)
Rule #1: Few Things Are Ever As They Appear
Rule #2: Don’t Rely On Your Briefing Notes
Rule #3: Be Kind to the Support Staff
Rule #4: A Good Toast Can Make A Lousy Lunch
Rule #5: Sightsee While You Can
Rule #6: The Most Useful Meetings Happen Over Coffee
Rule #7: When in Doubt, Dance
Rule #8: In Rome Do As The Romans Do
Rule #9: Talk is Cheap – Results Cost Extra
Rule #10: Always Keep Your Game Face On
Rule #11: Read Between The Lies
Rule #12: If Your Hand Sucks, Play A Wild Card
Rule #13: Alliances Are Fragile Things
Rule #14: Know When To Hold ‘Em
Rule 15: Know When to Fold ‘Em
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I learned this one at a summit meeting involving 55 heads of government/state and 50+ foreign ministers in Turkey. They all wanted to have bilaterals with each other, so you can imagine the competing requests for meeting space ("my man is more important than yours!!!") and the resulting chaos. I walked into the office that was handling bilateral meetings at 11 pm with an unreasonable request of my own, and the poor dears working there looked totally harried and starved -- they hadn't eaten since lunch. So I went in search of purchasable food, which at the Ciragan Palace Kempinsky Hotel is a challenge and a half. I managed to come up with a 1,000 g box of Godiva chocolates (which I got to expense on my hospitality account, good thing too 'coz it cost a frigging fortune) and brought it back upstairs to roaring applause and teary-eyed gratitude.
And after that, it was "the Canadians want something? where's the red carpet??" Just a basic act of human kindness that paid off in spades, as of the 17 meetings I arranged, TWO took place at the time and in the location I had originally managed to secure.
And yes, all the other rules have stories behind them, too -- earned by the sweat of a junior diplomat. ;-)
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And gossamer was such a crack enabler! all those awesome stories! thousands and thousands of them, all in one place!
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I like pointers to thoughtful crit, but I don't like wading through everything to get to it, and I certainly don't like what trying to write it does to my brain and mindset.
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*clings to tub of NSYNC school supplies*
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(Silly brain, trying to be all practical and missing all the fun stuff!)
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er, where you==me, obvs.
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As always when you post this, its timely and perfect.
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If I have muttered and mumbled and cut and re-cut and tweaked and gone word by word to get my goddamn drabble to say what I mean in EXACTLY 100 WORDS, BY GOD NOBODY GETS TO DUMP 1000+ WORDS ON A PAGE AND CALL IT A DRABBLE.
I am, as always, delighted to be of service. ♥
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In related news, if one more clueless DizGeek posts about how the paving work on the new hub looks "shoddy and disappointing" and then wonders if maybe they're not done yet, I may have to figure out how to inject a harmless, yet incapacitating virus into their profile on the boards. Also related, please check to see if the world has ended yet, as the SST/AI switch happened yesterday. If we are indeed still spinning, take a moment and Think Of All The Disappointed First-Timers Who Won't Know Where To Go To Get Their Iconic Dole Whips.
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A twitter folk was there for the first day switcheroo and said at least 2/3 of the line was in the wrong place. They finally had a CM come announce it. Oh! And the meltdowns I saw about the bird! Before Disney could do its daily dose of News You Already Know, they were hashtag eulogizing the poor thing whilst simultaneously lambasting TWDC for removing it, defiling culture, history etc etc.
And then they had the shareholders meeting.
How do people maintain that level of drama for anybkength of time?
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Oh, man, I wish more people realized this was possible and/or did it.
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To that end, unless it somehow dovetails with a RL issue, I mean, make your fandom interactions have the highest possible percent of pleasure for the time spent.
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INDEED. I am not one of those people who can look at something that I love, dissect it to uncover the faults, discuss those faults, and still love it at the end. It is forever tainted - so I don't. No crit from ames!
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I am tired of people making their big statements about how fandom isn't the same anymore and they aren't getting anything out of it so they are leaving.
Fine, move on, and shut up about it.
I got into SPN fandom five years ago and yes, it has changed. I miss some of my favorite writers but I have found others. I miss some of the people I regularly corresponded with, but I found new friends. Maybe I've been lucky, but the SPN fandom on LJ seems to be a more positive, supportive place than it was when I joined.
Of course, that is probably because I'm rarely on tumblr. :D
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SPN has been going on so long that it's just a world unto itself now. It was so crazy that first summer and it's been up and down and around ever since. It's really amazing how much fan engagement it has maintained over the years, so many people moving in and out, yet still so much creativity being put out there.