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Entry tags:
ho'ololi (transform), CWrps, JA/JP, NC-17,
Title: ho'ololi (transform)
Fandom: CWrps
Pairing(s): J2
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~8300
Notes: Written for the 2011![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
spn_meanttobe romance novel challenge.
Prompt Title & Summary:
#31 Pleasure in Hawaii
Gene Malloy is finally ready to get on with his life. And he just may have found the perfect woman to share it with him. From the moment Gene rescues Sloane Hepburn from a rogue wave on the beach, she makes his most passionate fantasies come true. With her sultry beauty and lively spirit, Sloane is turning the divorced Maui B and B owner's life upside down—and he's loving every minute of it….
Relocating to Hawaii is a big step for the overextended career woman. But with hunky, seductive Gene Malloy romancing her under a tropical island sky, how can a woman keep from falling? Now he just has to make her see that their love is here to stay. And that the pleasure is just beginning…
Also posted on AO3, here
Jensen signed the check for the cleaning team and handed it over with as sincere a thank you as he could give. For the first six months after he'd spent every penny he had to buy the bed-and-breakfast and run away from his entire life, he'd done everything himself, including making beds and washing sheets and cleaning the bathrooms. He practically had turned cartwheels the day he'd first been able to hire a cleaning service, and it was still something that made him unreasonably happy.
He waved them off and wandered back to the small sun room he used as an office, the house quiet and still around him. After an entire week of hosting a destination wedding, every single room booked, and people spilling out over the lanai'i and down to the water at all hours of the day and night, it was good to be alone.
"You set?"
Or, well, almost alone. Christian had his guitar slung over his one shoulder and a backpack over the other.
"Yeah," Jensen answered, settling himself in front of his computer. "I'm good. You?"
"I'm outta here," Chris said. "I may not look at a frying pan for a month." Chris handled the kitchen for Jensen, which generally meant standing around wisecracking and making omelets for the guests. This past week, though, they'd ended up feeding the entire wedding party at least two meals a day, and Jensen was under no illusions as to where cooking fell in Chris's life philosophy. It was a way to pay the rent, and he was happy enough about the extra cash, but Jensen knew he hadn't had time to go jam with any of the other guys for the whole time. Frankly, he was surprised Chris hadn't appropriated every bottle of bourbon at the reception.
"The Boy Genius still flying in this weekend?" Chris asked; and then when Jensen muttered, "yeah, maybe," he laughed. "Hell yeah, he is; you've got that stupid smile and I didn't even say his name."
"Chris--" Jensen didn't even get started on the standard it's no big thing, we just hang out before Chris snorted.
"Yeah, don't bother. I've heard it all before." Chris pulled a thin leather cord off his wrist and used it to tie his hair back out of his face, which at least meant he was getting ready to leave. "You know, you're allowed to be happy with the guy. There's nothing in the divorce decree that says you're restricted to fucking only, no feelings allowed."
Go," Jensen said with a groan, because the last thing this whatever-it-was with Jared needed was Kane standing on the sidelines offering his opinions on the subject. "Please. But be back next weekend, yeah?"
Chris grunted something that sounded like a yeah, sure, whatever, but he'd be back, if only because he hated anybody else touching the knives Jensen had bought to entice him into taking the job.
The kitchen door slammed, and Jensen could hear Chris kicking his bike to life, and then finally, he really was alone. He sat at his desk and poked idly at his keyboard, and he wasn't really considering what Chris had said, but his thoughts were running along the same lines. He did like being with Jared, and since it was at least a five-hour flight for Jared to be able to see Jensen, and Jared had been making the trip for almost a year, he assumed Jared felt the same way. Jared worked hard and played harder; Jensen liked being a part of that, but he was going to be honest and admit that he probably wouldn't have let a "them" happen if they hadn't started it all knowing that it was going to be a part-time thing. Jared had always been okay with that, too. He said it worked out well with the road warrior part of consulting.
They were good together, in bed and out, but Jensen didn't know if that was only because they really weren't together all that often. They skyped a fair amount, but sometimes, like for the last couple of months, Jared was on the other side of the world, advising Eastern European countries on water treatment best practices, and they made do with firing off random emails. Still, Jensen thought, that didn't mean they were careless about each other. It just meant their lives operated on different frequencies, ones that they worked to make intersect.
Jared's last email said he'd get a car service from the airport, like usual, but Jensen was suddenly too impatient to wait. He didn't have anything else to do--he'd spent the time the cleaning crew had been there getting caught up on all the paperwork and planning he'd let slip during the last week--and even if he couldn't figure out Jared's exact flights, how hard could it be to hang out at the airport until he came by?
-- ~~ --
Jared probably looked like a total dork but he couldn't help whipping his head around in complete astonishment as it registered on his jet-lagged brain that the hand holding up the sign that read Padalecki did not, in fact, belong to the semi-anonymous driver he expected to be meeting his flight, but to Jensen. Jared stopped dead in the middle of the crowd surging out toward baggage claim and all points aloha, the half-written email on his phone forgotten as he stared, and--okay, fine, he was more than a little slow on the uptake but it was a long damn trip from Croatia to Honolulu and he hadn't slept a whole hell of a lot even before he'd gotten on the plane and been unable to upgrade to business class.
"Hey," Jensen said, one side of his mouth quirking up into a small smile. "Surprise."
"Hey," Jared answered, still a little bemused. A family all but plowed into him from behind, pushing past him with hasty apologies and squeals of excitement as an older couple stepped forward to meet them. "I--uh--" This time, it was an Asian man in a still unrumpled suit and precisely-knotted tie whose suit bag clipped Jared as the crowd surged around him, and Jensen's smile morphed into a laugh.
"Dude, come on, the car's outside in short-term parking. Let's go before you get trampled."
"I thought--" Jared shoved his phone in his pocket and fell into step with Jensen, shoulders brushing as they worked their way through the crowd. "I was going to get to your place on my own--I never even gave you my flights." He thought hard about it, but everything was still fuzzy "Right?"
"Right." Jensen shrugged. "I just--didn't want to wait." He reached out to take Jared's carry-on bag, leaving him with just the messenger bag with his stash of electronics.
"Cool," Jared murmured, letting his hand brush Jensen's. They were... complicated, which was as much Jared's doing as Jensen's, but Jensen showing up like this was good. Really, really good, in Jared's opinion, and he was tired enough that he just smiled at Jensen and left it at that. Jensen smiled back, which was also really, really good. "Oh," Jared added, his brain coming at least partially back online. "I, uh, checked a bag, so if you want to get the car...?"
"Mr. Airlines-Are-Idiots checked a bag for a week's vacation?" Jensen could arch an eyebrow like nobody Jared knew. "Seriously?"
"Work-related shit," Jared said, which wasn't exactly a lie. "You don't have to stand around here and wait for it, too--Meet me out front?" Jared tried to look casual and not like he was holding his breath not to have to get into this now.
"Sure," Jensen said after a couple of seconds. Jared knew that meant he hadn't been entirely successful with the casual gambit, but at least Jensen wasn't going to push it. "Text me when you're on your way out."
Jared only had the one bag, and while it was big enough to have to be checked, it wasn't until you lifted it that you got a sense of how much was really in it. He'd been living out of suitcases for the better part of a decade--he could pack more shit into one than anybody else he knew, including that stewardess on youtube. This one was for the long haul. He wasn't sure if he was ready to have the discussion with Jensen that went along with it; it symbolized a whole hell of a lot of change, and while Jared had asked for it, he didn't know if it was something Jensen was going to be good with. Whichever way it went, things were going to change--they were going to change--and the only thing Jared knew for sure was that he was way too jetlagged to be at his best, so he just threw the duffel in the back of Jensen's truck and pretended like it didn't exist.
Jared climbed into the front seat and slammed the door behind him, and before Jensen could pull back out into traffic, leaned over and put his hand on Jensen's leg. When Jensen turned to look at him in surprise, Jared moved the hand up to cup Jensen's jaw and brushed his mouth across Jensen's.
"It's really good to see you," Jared murmured, by way of explanation. Jensen smiled with his eyes and leaned into Jared for a second, longer kiss, lazy and slow, first little shock of tongues brushing against each other, a final jolt when Jensen bit not-quite gently at Jared's bottom lip.
"Yeah," Jensen breathed, not taking his eyes off where Jared couldn't help touching his tongue to where his lip stung. "It's really good to see you, too." He licked his own lips--Jared followed every millimeter with eager attention--but then shook his head. "If I kiss you again, I'm not sure I'll stop."
"And this is a problem, how?"
"Jared." Jensen settled himself back behind the wheel and put his blinker on, a determined look on his face. "Passenger pick up lane at Honolulu International. Non-tinted windows. Bucket seats, not a bench. I seriously don't want this to be the only time we have sex because we got arrested for indecent exposure. Or because one of us threw our back out trying to pretzel in here."
"Fine," Jared sighed. He thumped back in his own seat with an exaggerated groan, and started fiddling with the radio. "I thought I was the practical one and you were the crazy dreamer."
"I'm thinking outside the box," Jensen said with the ghost of a smirk. Jared rolled his eyes at having his own words tossed back at him, but since it was his email sig line at work, and most of the time he was sending Jensen stuff from that account, he supposed Jensen couldn't really be blamed. Traffic closed in on them as soon as they turned out of the airport, and it looked like it wasn't going away anytime soon, so Jared leaned back and let Jensen concentrate on driving. He fished his phone out and finished answering the email from Eric, his boss, and sent another quick one to Jeff, one of the project managers. Jensen was looking at him when he finished, quick glances that took in everything, so Jared made a little bit of a show as he turned it off and tucked it into his bag.
"Off the clock," he told Jensen, which was the truth for the rest of the night at least. Jensen made a noncommittal noise, one of his you work too fucking much grunts, but he let it go at that. Jared was just as happy to leave it there, too; he couldn't argue with Jensen--he did work too fucking much, but mostly because he loved it. It was vacation now, though, and Jared had already told everyone he was going off-line. Everyone laughed--Jared thought Chad might have strained something--but he was serious this time. This was just the wrap-up, part of the time he thought he'd have with the driver.
He watched Honolulu inch closer for a little while, but Jensen's car was big and comfortable and the music was low enough that Jared fell asleep before they got out more than a couple of miles into the drive. The next thing he knew, it was twilight and they were past town and over the mountains, in Kailua, not far from the bed-and-breakfast Jensen owned.
"Man, I'm sorry--you went to all the trouble to come get me and I crash out on you." Jared shook his head, clearing away the last shreds of sleep and stretched. As mortified as he was to have fallen asleep on Jensen, he had to admit he felt about a thousand times better.
"Yup," Jensen deadpanned. "You definitely owe me." His eyes flickered over Jared, and Jared was pretty sure they were lingering on where his t-shirt had ridden up. He stretched again, testing the theory, and yes, definitely, there was eye-fucking going on. Jensen's mouth might have figured prominently in a serious number of Jared's recent fantasies, but his eyes could do some definite damage of their own. Jared was pretty happy to be reminded of that.
"I'll get right on paying you back," Jared said, but then his stomach growled, and he sighed. "Or, you know, right after I feed this monster."
"I got you covered," Jensen said, with a smile. He nodded toward the glove compartment and Jared almost purred when he found the chocolate-covered macadamias. It wasn't a big bag, but it was enough to take the edge off; Jared couldn't actually remember if he'd eaten on any of his flights. He got down to the last handful and belatedly remembered his manners, holding out the cellophane bag toward Jensen. "I'm good, Jay," Jensen said, shaking his head.
"What? You're just going to watch?" Jared arched an eyebrow at Jensen, who rolled his eyes, but Jared noticed he didn't exactly look away, even if Jared had been joking. It was kind of a turn-on, but then there wasn't much about being with Jensen that wasn't. Jared shook the last few nuts into his hand, refraining from licking the bag right as Jensen down-shifted and started along the final looping road to the bed-and-breakfast. Over here on the windward side of the island, the mountains ran right down to the ocean; Jensen had told Jared once he'd bought the house, spent every penny he had and more, everything he could beg from his parents and borrow from anyone who'd lend it, because when you were in the water, surrounded by blue, you could look back and see nothing but the long fingers of the Reserve mountains, smudgy green and gray, curving down to cradle the water. You didn't see that unless you were right there though; the way the road ran along the back ridge of the mountains, you couldn't see the ocean until you were practically on top of it. The road itself was nothing special and it took a while to get through all the twists and turns, but then you'd hit the final curve and drop down into the valley with the little cove spread out at the end of it, and it was pretty fucking spectacular.
Jensen pulled around the main house to the wing where he lived and cut the engine. It was quiet--only two or three other houses along the shore--and peaceful. Jared got out and stretched properly and pretended not to be watching Jensen and the little smile that always seemed to hover around his eyes when he looked at his place.
"No cars?" Jared left the big duffel in the back and just grabbed for his overnight bag and, after a second, added all the electronic crap, more because it didn't need to stay out in the humidity than any real desire to be connected to the world. "You don't have anybody here?"
"We just said good-bye to a destination wedding," Jensen answered, unlocking the door and flicking on the lights. "Had the whole place for ten days. We made a killing on it and they left the remains of the reception in the main kitchen, but we're dead, so I'm off the books for a couple of days."
"Kane?" Jared asked, following Jensen into the suite and making for the bedroom.
"Halfway into a bottle of rum and swearing he's never cooking another thing for anyone but the most recent co-occupant of his bed," Jensen answered. "He fed everyone for everything except for the reception itself." Jared grinned--Chris had a love/hate relationship with the kitchen. It was pure love so long as it meant he could impress whoever he was sleeping with or so long as it meant he was making his rent. Anything more, or anything that interfered with him and a guitar, and he got pissy. Having to produce food for more than one meal a day had probably grated on his last nerve, and it wasn't like the guy had much patience to begin with. But that wasn't the important take-away from what Jensen had just said; Jared brought his attention back to what really mattered.
"So, it's just us?"
"Yeah," Jensen answered, one side of his mouth quirking up into that smile that Jared loved. "Just us."
"Awesome," Jared said.
*
The shower in Jensen's suite was pretty much the best thing ever. Jared thought his memory might have been exaggerating, but as soon as his feet hit the stone, he was back with the program. It was one of the ones that was just a wall across the front in the same stone as the floor and the other walls, open across the back third, and a rainfall shower head set into the ceiling so that it felt as though you were out in a waterfall. A heated waterfall. The first time Jared had seen it, Jensen had actually been embarrassed, mumbling about how it wasn't his idea and it just came with the house. Jared had laughed, because, yeah, it was kind of over the top; but if he was being honest, it had been the first time he'd seen this cool, laid-back guy, the one who'd more-or-less saved Jared from the entire disaster that vacationing with Chad turned out to be, get flustered over anything, and that was really fucking adorable. Then Jared had actually gotten into the shower and it was unbelievable and he'd literally put his hand over Jensen's mouth to stop the protests.
As Jared stripped off his t-shirt and jeans, he could hear Jensen moving around in the bedroom, so he called, "Did I mention how happy I am that you haven't given in to your voluntary simplicity side and gotten rid of this shower?"
"Yeah?" Jensen answered, coming closer. Jared got the water started and got himself under the waterfall right as Jensen opened the bathroom door. "What if I told you I only kept it for you?"
"I'd call you a liar," Jared said, laughing. "Liar, liar, liar. You are way too..."
"Go ahead, call me cheap," Jensen said. "I'm a big boy, I can take it."
"Frugal," Jared substituted, because whatever Jensen said, Jared wasn't going to start calling the guy a cheapskate. At least not before there had been some quality naked time to ease the sting. "You are way too frugal to tear out a functioning shower just because it embarrasses you."
He braced himself against the wall so the water was gushing down on his shoulders and neck and moaned a little at how good it felt. Okay, so maybe he moaned a lot. It was next to impossible to find a shower that was set high enough to hit the back of his neck in the best of times, let alone after he'd been on one flight or another for nearly twenty-four hours.
"Okay, so you're not wrong about my, uh, frugality, but if you think those noises you make every time you get in that shower aren't a factor in keeping it, you definitely aren't using the analytical brain you're supposed to have." Jensen had this incredible deadpan; Jared always forgot about it until he'd say something like that and close the door and be gone before Jared could actually process the words and react. This time, though, when Jared came out of the bathroom, looking for his overnight bag and clean clothes, Jensen was leaning against the dresser, not even pretending to be busy, just there, waiting for Jared.
"I missed you," Jared said, without thinking. They were supposed to be keeping this whole thing between them low-key, casual, because Jensen was here, and Jared was, well, not, was everywhere but in one place, and they both agreed there wasn't any sense in creating drama. They'd both had more than enough of that in previous relationships. Neither one of them was looking for anything life-altering. They said that to each other a lot; lately, Jared was starting to think they did it as though the sheer repetition would make it be true. They stayed in touch, emails and phone calls, and the occasional visit when they had the time. It was more than Jared had with anyone else but his family; and it was supposed to be enough. The words slipped out anyway.
"Yeah," Jensen said quietly. "Yeah, me too."
Jared was three steps across the room before he thought about it, but Jensen's eyes never left him, and he made the rest of the trip acutely conscious of how he was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, how the t-shirt Jensen wore stretched across his shoulders, how the crisp white made it so his skin almost glowed in the low light from the bedside lamp. Jensen straightened up as Jared got closer, and when Jared stopped, just inside Jensen's personal space, Jensen was who took the final step and pressed them together.
"Oh, fuck," Jared groaned as Jensen ran his teeth up Jared's neck, quick nip to his collarbone, long, light scrape up to a lingering bite under his jaw. Jared tilted his head back and tried--and failed--not to whine. Jensen smiled against his skin; Jared could feel it without even looking. "Okay, fine, I'm easy," Jared gasped. "You knew this already."
"I'm just enjoying the reminders," Jensen murmured, his breath striking cool against the skin he'd dampened. Jared didn't think that was the only reason he shivered, but his brain wasn't exactly functioning--Jensen had added long strokes up and down Jared's back, his nails scraping lightly along the length of Jared's spine--so what did he know? He got his own hands up under Jensen's shirt, and that was good, skin on skin; Jensen inhaled once, quick and sharp against Jared's shoulder, and that was better. Getting his mouth on Jensen's and swallowing down the next soft sound he made was better yet.
"Jay," Jensen murmured when Jared let him go. His hands were low on Jared's back, the tips of his fingers sliding under the towel. "Let me?"
He tugged gently, tipping his head back so he could look at Jared, as though he thought Jared might have a problem with losing his towel.
"Anything," Jared said, shivering as Jensen stripped the towel down and off and dropped to his knees in the same fluid motion. Jensen slanted another look up at Jared, his expression intense and focused. Before Jared could even really process how fucking gorgeous he was, he'd leaned forward and closed his mouth around Jared's dick, swirling his tongue along and under the crown before sucking hard at the head. "Oh, god," Jared gritted out, bracing himself on the dresser as all the blood in his body raced to his dick.
He was only starting to get hard, and during one spectacular round of phone sex not long after they met, Jensen had confessed he liked starting off like that--fucking love it, Jay, love it when you're soft in my mouth and I can suck you hard--so it wasn't a surprise, Jensen going down on him like that, and not that Jensen was normally unsure or hesitant--Jared didn't think that was ever true--but this time he was fierce and aggressive, taking Jared's cock as though he owned it and wasn't planning on allowing Jared to do anything but exactly what Jensen wanted.
And what Jensen wanted, apparently, was to make Jared scream.
He pulled off enough that he could cup Jared's balls in one hand, squeezing and rolling them without mercy, while he worked the head of Jared's dick just as ruthlessly with his mouth, rubbing hard at the bundle of nerves under the crown with the flat of his tongue, stopping that only to scrape his teeth along and over the very tip, and then sucking Jared deep to start it all again.
Jared heard himself babbling, pleading, Jensen's name and jumbled words that made no sense, except Jensen understood him perfectly. He let Jared, so far gone he could barely remember his name, much less his manners, fuck his throat without a break, taking every inch of Jared over and over, not pulling away even when he was choking on Jared's come.
Jared was still dazed and shaking when Jensen surged to his feet, his mouth swollen and red, his breathing ragged, harsh. He kissed Jared with a desperate edge, and Jared could feel his dick, hard and thick under the soft cotton of his cargoes. Jared got his head together enough to wrap his arms around Jensen and hold him close, returning his kisses with equal intensity. He hissed at how harsh that cotton felt on his own sensitized dick, but wasn't at all willing to let there be space between them.
"Want you," Jensen gasped in between those wild, crazy kisses. "Want to be in you, want to fuck you so bad, Jay. Need it."
Jared managed to make a noise that he hoped Jensen would take as agreement, but since he was already backing toward the bed, his hands digging into Jensen's hips to make sure he moved, too, Jared didn't think words were particularly necessary.
Except for the first time, which had been awkward as hell and really not that good, it had always been seriously fucking hot between them. It didn't matter if Jared was fucking or being fucked, or who was sucking whom off--or if they were sixty-nining and fighting hard to make the other one come first--Jared couldn't remember too many other guys he'd been with who'd gotten him off so hard, and he was pretty sure Jensen agreed. He didn't expect this time to be any different, but usually, Jensen was all about the slow build, liked to take his time and draw it out, make Jared crazy one inexorable step at a time. This was... really not that.
This was Jensen all over Jared, hands and mouth greedy and possessive, so hungry and impatient Jared couldn't catch his breath. It was Jensen tugging impatiently at his own clothes, dragging them off in a feverish rush so he could crawl up over Jared and kiss him again, hard and rough, his tongue fucking into Jared's mouth in a hard rhythm that demanded everything Jared had. He kissed Jared, took his mouth and used it, and then did it again--and then pulled away abruptly, his lips and teeth leaving a trail of over-sensitized skin in their wake.
"Jesus, Jen," Jared gasped as Jensen bit at the pulse under his jaw and sucked a bruise into his collarbone. He didn't even manage that much when Jensen moved on to tease at his nipples, licking them to hardness before worrying at them with his teeth. Jared made a helpless sort of a noise, not even strong enough to be a whimper as Jensen moved back and forth, quick, sharp nips that stung enough on their own, but layered on top of each other, left Jared shaking and panting. Before Jared had to call Jensen off--as good as it felt, it was edging over into too intense, too painful--Jensen eased off and worked his way down Jared's body to tongue-fuck his navel--as light and playful as he'd been intense just seconds before--and drifted over to kiss-bite a bruise into the point of Jared's hip.
He was such a fucking tease, and Jared did his best to communicate that, but then Jensen was licking down the crease of Jared's thigh, his tongue curling around Jared's balls, licking lower, and Jared shut his mouth for fear of losing the feel of Jensen's tongue on his skin.
"Fuck, Jen, come on," he gasped, and Jensen didn't deny him, only pushed Jared's thighs up and over his shoulders and worked his tongue up inside Jared. "Jen," Jared said, far closer to a wail than he was comfortable admitting. "Jen, please."
Jensen fucked Jared with his tongue, quick and dirty and so fucking hot Jared could feel his dick starting to get hard again. Jensen felt it, too, and he stopped tonguing Jared long enough to whisper, "Yeah, Jay, yeah--want to fuck another one out of you."
"Yes," Jared groaned. "Fuck, yes, please." He held himself the way Jensen wanted him to, and moved when Jensen told him to, and found himself on his hands and knees, legs spread wide and his ass in the air. Jensen spread him wider and pushed into him with a long, slow stroke that rubbed hard against Jared's prostate and made him buck, made his dick fill that much faster.
After five strokes, Jared was shaking; after ten, he put his head down and wailed into the mattress. He was hard again, his dick and balls heavy and aching between his legs, as though he hadn't just come in a blinding, shaking rush. Jensen kept fucking him, stopping only to smack Jared's ass when he tried to get a hand on himself and help matters along. Jensen didn't say anything in words, but his growl was clear enough: only Jensen got to get Jared off. He stayed still, buried deep inside Jared until Jared bought a clue and gasped out an apology, and then smacked Jared's ass one more time and went back to the fucking, harder now, and a little faster. Jared dug his hands into the mattress and pushed back as best he could, but mostly, he just had to keep his ass up and take what Jensen was giving him. The thought of that--of Jensen, normally the most easy-going of lovers, demanding that control, and Jared letting him have it--was like a crazy feedback loop, taking every touch, every stroke, and magnifying it tenfold. Jensen pushed him to the edge and kept him there until he was begging for it, and all it took was Jensen wrapping his hand around Jared's cock and he was coming again, helpless and shaking. Jensen fucked him through it, and then, once he was sure Jared was good, picked up his pace until he was pounding into Jared, every stroke deep and rough, and Jared still just took it, his nerves overloaded and his brain dazed, but hanging on until Jensen lost it, too.
*
Jensen hadn't been kidding--the fridge in the main house was packed with catering boxes and half-drunk bottles of wine and champagne. Jared was impressed--not that that was hard to do by then. Between his general exhaustion and the fading rush of fucking, especially the second orgasm Jensen had drawn out of him, Jared was pretty upfront about being basically brain dead. He draped himself over Jensen's back and nodded as enthusiastically as possible at every suggestion, because really, it all sounded good.
"Don't make fun of me," he mumbled when Jensen laughed and said he might be better off just sitting down. "‘S your fault I'm like this. You broke me."
"Is this a case of ‘you break it, you buy it'?" Jensen asked, and even as tired as Jared was, he could tell it was just a joke. That didn't seem to make a difference to his mouth, though.
"If you want it to be," Jared heard himself saying. He stayed still and more-or-less stopped breathing, waiting for Jensen's answer. Jensen was pretty still, too, but finally he sighed, and brought one hand up to stroke along Jared's forearm where it was looped around his chest.
"Maybe we should talk about that?" Jensen sounded rueful, his voice soft and full of regret, and Jared wasn't sure how they'd gone from brain-melting sex to what suddenly sounded like the start of a break-up, but now was not the time to be out of it.
"Yeah," Jared answered quietly. "We can do that." He stomped down on the urge to plead jet lag and ask if they could talk about it in the morning. He'd worked through a lot of nights more tired than he was now, and if he could crunch diff-eqs like that, he could talk to Jensen, for God's sake. Besides, it wasn't as though Jensen was going to forget all about it after a little sleep. Jared told himself to man-up. He turned his head enough that he could press a kiss to Jensen's temple and then made himself let go and settle down on a bar stool pulled up to the island in the middle of the kitchen.
Jensen brought over an armful of the catering boxes and handed Jared a fork to go along with the food. Jared tried not to think of it as a condemned man's last meal, but for all that Jensen was Mr. Laidback, Jared didn't like how he wasn't meeting Jared's eyes, only poking at the contents of one of the boxes. Jared didn't think Jensen was actually seeing whatever it was he was shredding, but then Jared wasn't seeing much either.
"I just--" Jensen started. He sighed and Jared put his fork down and reached across the island to grab Jensen's hand. Jensen smiled at him, and if it was a small smile, it was a real one. Jared counted that as a win. "I'm not sure anything's changed," Jensen finally said.
Jared took a deep breath and made himself count to five--ten probably would have been better, but he probably would have choked on everything that wanted to be said. He kept his voice quiet when he asked, "Is that me or you?"
"Both of us," Jensen sighed. He let Jared keep holding his hand, though. "We're not anywhere different than we were when we started this--"
"Hey, I'm not underwater, needing to be rescued," Jared said, mock-indignantly, totally fine with making fun of himself if it meant he could chase that closed-off expression out of Jensen's eyes. Besides, however embarrassing it had been to be knocked over by a wave--and it had been pretty close to mortifying when Jensen had rushed in to help him, like Jared was some overgrown damsel in distress, or a clueless mainlander--at least it had been at Waimea, where the waves were actually big. Plus, Jared thought he'd have suffered through more than getting knocked around by some water to have ended up here, with Jensen.
"You know what I mean, Jay." Jensen might have been smiling around the eyes, but his voice was serious. "That duffel--you're here on the way to somewhere else, and... I'm not going to make you choose."
Jared waited for a couple of seconds, then said, "Okay, that's me, but you said it was both of us."
"Yeah." Jensen shrugged. "It's the same deal I've always had, you know?"
"Bad divorce, not ready for anything serious, perfectly happy with your life the way it is." Jared recited the words softly, and Jensen shrugged again. Jared was hit with a sudden cold thought that maybe there was more, maybe there was somebody more, and he blurted out, "It's not anything else, is it? Anyone else?"
"No." Jensen half-laughed. "No, nobody else has decided to put up with my iss--"
"Yeah, it's a total charity case on my end," Jared said, squeezing Jensen's hand once more before letting go. "I'm a giver." Jensen rolled his eyes; Jared grinned at him. Maybe, just maybe, Jared could talk his way around this. He settled down and got serious. "I do have a new project--they wanted me to stay on in Zagreb, but they didn't really need me and... I was really tired of being on the other side of the world. There was a smaller project starting up so I asked for that." Jared took a deep breath; he'd thought this was going to be dicey because he hadn't wanted Jensen to feel like he was getting blindsided, rushed into something more than he was ready for, but now Jared was nervous that it wasn't going to be enough. "The bad news is that they need me there on Wednesday."
Jensen shook his head. He didn't have to say a word for Jared to hear the See?, so he hurried on. "The good news is that I'm based in Pearl City."
"Pearl City," Jensen repeated. "The one on the other side of Honolulu." His voice was even, but flat, almost emotionless, and this was really what Jared was worried about.
"I know this is completely out of the blue, and I probably should have talked to you about it, but it literally came on the table not even two days ago and I thought, you know, we could see what it was like, being in the same time zone for a change."
Jensen still had that shut-down look about his eyes; they hadn't ever talked about their pasts--focus on the present, that was more their style--but it occurred to Jared that he really didn't know what kind of baggage Jensen was dragging with him.
"They'll set me up with a place in Pearl City, a corporate apartment or something," Jared said, quietly. "I'll probably be there most of the time if I'm not out on a ship. I'm not suggesting we move in together." He couldn't tell what was going on behind Jensen's eyes, but this was it. If he didn't give it his best shot now, he'd regret it for a long time. "I know you said you were still in the same place you were when we met, but..." He took a deep breath. "I don't think that's true, and you can tell me to back off, and I will, but this whole day has been different and it's not just me. I think you know it, too, and that's what's got you freaked."
Jensen's mouth tightened, but he didn't tell Jared to get out, and he didn't turn away, which was at least something. Jared tried desperately to convince himself that it was enough, but the little bit of energy he'd gotten from the nap he'd taken in the car was long gone, and the adrenaline from the conversation itself was draining fast. He was left feeling like he'd been hit by a truck, tired and dispirited; it was hard to find the upside of anything.
"Jay," Jensen sighed, and this was it. Jared braced to hear the it's not you, it's me speech, but all Jensen said was, "You look like shit; go crash. We can talk about this later."
Jared tried to think if giving up the field was going to be a tactical disadvantage, but his brain was fuzzy and nothing made sense. He gave up and pushed himself to his feet, finally, and got halfway down the hall toward Jensen's bedroom before it struck him that maybe he should be sleeping somewhere else. He stopped and turned back, but Jensen only flapped his hand at him, like Jared was being deliberately obstructionist, so Jared gave up trying to work out what was going on and kept going until he could pitch forward onto the big bed and pass out.
-- ~~ --
Jensen wandered around the house, doing his nightly rounds. It was nothing big, brainless for the most part--making sure all the windows were closed and latched and lights were turned off, stuff like that. It was soothing, though, like he was checking in with all the bits and pieces of his life. He hadn't built the house, but he'd done a lot of work since he'd bought it. Every paint job, every new floor had his name on it. He ended in his bedroom, as always, except that this night Jared was there. Jensen stood just inside the door, the light from the hall enough that he could see how Jared had sprawled out on top of the sheets, and it occurred to Jensen that Jared was another part of this life he'd built from what had felt like the end of the world.
A good part, he admitted, and maybe Jared was right. Maybe Jensen wasn't the same guy who'd been everybody's friend but no more than that because there hadn't felt like there was anything left after the divorce. Thinking about it, about Jared being there more than just occasionally, was mostly good. Maybe the part that wasn't, the part that was yelling at him about not getting involved... maybe that was just an echo of what had been necessary before.
Jensen turned out the light and made his way across the room in the dark. The moon was up and bright enough that his eyes adjusted quickly; the more he looked, the more Jared fit. Or, rather, the more he noticed how Jared fit, because he had the feeling Jared had been fitting for a good long while, Jensen just hadn't been paying attention. He tossed a light blanket on top of Jared and got under it on the other side of the bed. If Jared hadn't known how to tell Jensen about staying on Oahu, maybe he hadn't been paying attention either. Jensen should probably think more about all of it, but Jared was breathing stead and deep, and for all that it was barely nine o'clock, Jensen was asleep almost before he even had that thought.
*
The way the house was situated on the land, with the mountains rising steeply behind it, and the ocean in front, the very early morning light, before the sun cleared the mountains and shone down unobstructed, had a diffuse, reflective quality as it bounced off the water and lightened what should have been a deep shade. When Jensen opened his eyes, it was not long after dawn, he judged, with no clouds throwing extra shadows. Jared was still sprawled out next to Jensen, but Jensen could tell by his breathing that he was already awake.
"Are you sure about this project?" Jensen said, rolling up on one elbow so he could look at Jared properly. "You said it was smaller--"
"I'm not tanking my career path, if that's what you're worried about," Jared answered. "Also, good morning. You're awfully coherent today."
Jensen rolled his eyes; he was perfectly coherent in the mornings, he just never quite saw the need to demonstrate that fact.
"It's a thing to clean up more of the munitions that are still all over the harbor," Jared said. "Which isn't all that exciting, except we got cleared to use a couple of underwater robotic arms." He grinned up at Jensen, clear and bright, and Jensen had to grin back. "Like what they use for deep-water salvage--there's a list a mile long to get access to those things."
"New toys aside," Jensen said slowly. "Is this really what you want?"
"Yes," Jared said. "I mean, I know there aren't any guarantees, that we might get really tired of each other after a couple of weeks, but... yes. This is what I want."
He said it firmly, decisively, but then he looked at Jensen, really looked, and Jensen could see how wide open he was leaving himself, hope mixed with fear and maybe something more. It looked a lot like Jensen felt himself.
"What," Jared said, and then stopped to swallow hard. "What do you want?"
I don't want anything to change, Jensen thought automatically, but then he realized that was true, but not in the defensive, knee-jerk reaction he'd been operating from as a default. He didn't want anything to change, but it already had. He had Jared here, in his bed, in his life, and that was what he didn't want to change.
"This," Jensen heard himself say, easy and sure, and Jared stared at him, mouth gaping wide before he flopped back down on the bed with a whoosh of air from his lungs. "Jay?"
"Good," Jared said faintly, throwing an arm up to cover his eyes. "I'm good; I'm just gonna... lay here and breathe for a while, ‘k?"
"Drama queen," Jensen said, and laughed when Jared flipped him off without looking at him. He let himself relax a little, but for all Jared was halfway back to the slow, deep breaths that had lulled Jensen to sleep the night before, Jensen wasn't following along now. He was awake for good, he thought, and eased cautiously off the mattress. Jared rolled toward him with a wordless, questioning murmur. "Gonna go swim, okay?"
Jared made another noise, still sleepy, but agreeable, so Jensen moved as quietly as he could to find board shorts and a rash guard, because it didn't matter if it was freakishly early in the morning: if he wasn't careful, he'd end up fried, and he had no desire to spend the next few days a sunburn bad enough that he couldn't stand to be touched, not when he had Jared around to do lots of touching.
The water was calm and warmish, perfect for a swim long enough to make up for at least a few of the mornings he'd missed recently. Jensen alternated strokes and made it across the cove and back without feeling like he was overdoing it. Swimming was his thing, mental as well as physical; after the first eighth of a mile or so, he'd usually find a rhythm and let his subconscious work through the issues of the day. This morning, he expected to be fighting through bad memories, but the only bits that surfaced were linked with Jared and they were all good. It was like getting an unexpected green light from his subconscious. It left him feeling pretty damn awesome.
Jensen padded through the house and back up to his room, rubbing absently at his hair and body with a towel, trying to to drip too much on the hardwoods. Jared was approximately in the same position, but he opened his eyes when Jensen got close.
"Hey," Jared murmured. "I didn't dream all that, did I?"
"No way you're getting out of this one." Jensen wasn't even tempted to screw with Jared's head; he judged that a sign of how far gone he really was. Instead, he just reached out and traced his thumb over Jared's lower lip, forgetting how to breathe when Jared sucked the tip of it into his mouth.
"Salty," Jared said, biting down. Jensen made a noise that he'd deny to his dying day, except Jared did it again, and Jensen was happy he wasn't begging.
"Shower," Jensen managed to say, and Jared smiled. It wasn't one of his big, open smiles; it was feral and possessive, and it twisted something hard inside Jensen.
"Yes," he purred and threw back the covers to follow--stalk--Jensen into the bathroom. Jensen stripped off his wet clothes and Jared's voice dropped even lower. "I like this shower--have I told you that?"
"Possibly," Jensen murmured, fumbling the water on. Jared was leaning against the stone wall, his eyes traveling over every inch of Jensen as though he was surveying his property before he moved in to claim it. It was incredibly distracting; Jensen was pretty proud he managed not to dump freezing--or scalding--water over himself. "More than once, even."
"I like it even more with you in it." Jared crowded close behind Jensen, his hands already slick with soap and sliding over Jensen's skin, chest and belly and thighs, and then curving in to cup Jensen's cock, his balls.
"Jared," Jensen gasped, but then couldn't think of another word. Jared stroked Jensen slowly, one big hand on his belly to hold him steady. He kept his pace deliberate and measured, and his hand was slippery enough from the soap that it wasn't nearly enough to get Jensen off, only tease him unmercifully.
"Like that," Jared murmured as Jensen pushed into his hand. "Yeah, that's good, Jen; so good." Jared was hard against Jensen but Jared ignored it in favor of an intense focus on Jensen. Jensen shuddered and writhed in Jared's arms, panting hard and then choking out a fuck, yeah when Jared shifted his free hand so he could drag his nails across Jensen's chest, over his nipples, down his abs.
Jared kept to that maddeningly slow pace, laughing softly when Jensen cursed him for being a control freak. "Sticks and stones, Jen," he answered and bit down on the back of Jensen's shoulder. He didn't speed up, not precisely, but every stroke after was that much harder, that much tighter. Jensen could feel it building in his belly and thighs, slow and inexorable, braced himself to take it like that for as long as Jared wanted; but then Jared pushed him against the wall and there were three fingers working up inside Jensen with no stretching, no prep. The shock of it, the sudden fierce burn, sent Jensen reeling and before he could catch his breath, Jared was back with four fingers, forcing them deeper, and Jensen came with a howl.
"So fucking hot," Jared growled, grinding his cock into Jensen's hip and coming all over him. "Next time," he gasped. "Next time I'm fucking you in here for real, make you come on my cock, nothing else."
Jensen shuddered weakly, whimpering at the thought, sudden and visceral, of being held against the cool, rough stone while Jared pushed into him, hot and slick, forcing Jensen up on his toes until the only thing that would be holding him up would be Jared's hands on his hips, Jared's dick in his ass. Jared growled wordlessly against him, as though he could read Jensen's thoughts.
Jensen made another embarrassing noise as Jared slid his hand free, halfway between whining for more and purring with contentment. Jared rested his forehead against the back of Jensen's shoulder, and they stood there under the water until their breathing evened out.
"Next time. Tomorrow. Or the next day," Jared promised, and Jensen nodded, because they really did have a tomorrow and he was very, very good with that.
Fandom: CWrps
Pairing(s): J2
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~8300
Notes: Written for the 2011
spn_meanttobe romance novel challenge. Prompt Title & Summary:
#31 Pleasure in Hawaii
Gene Malloy is finally ready to get on with his life. And he just may have found the perfect woman to share it with him. From the moment Gene rescues Sloane Hepburn from a rogue wave on the beach, she makes his most passionate fantasies come true. With her sultry beauty and lively spirit, Sloane is turning the divorced Maui B and B owner's life upside down—and he's loving every minute of it….
Relocating to Hawaii is a big step for the overextended career woman. But with hunky, seductive Gene Malloy romancing her under a tropical island sky, how can a woman keep from falling? Now he just has to make her see that their love is here to stay. And that the pleasure is just beginning…
Also posted on AO3, here
Jensen signed the check for the cleaning team and handed it over with as sincere a thank you as he could give. For the first six months after he'd spent every penny he had to buy the bed-and-breakfast and run away from his entire life, he'd done everything himself, including making beds and washing sheets and cleaning the bathrooms. He practically had turned cartwheels the day he'd first been able to hire a cleaning service, and it was still something that made him unreasonably happy.
He waved them off and wandered back to the small sun room he used as an office, the house quiet and still around him. After an entire week of hosting a destination wedding, every single room booked, and people spilling out over the lanai'i and down to the water at all hours of the day and night, it was good to be alone.
"You set?"
Or, well, almost alone. Christian had his guitar slung over his one shoulder and a backpack over the other.
"Yeah," Jensen answered, settling himself in front of his computer. "I'm good. You?"
"I'm outta here," Chris said. "I may not look at a frying pan for a month." Chris handled the kitchen for Jensen, which generally meant standing around wisecracking and making omelets for the guests. This past week, though, they'd ended up feeding the entire wedding party at least two meals a day, and Jensen was under no illusions as to where cooking fell in Chris's life philosophy. It was a way to pay the rent, and he was happy enough about the extra cash, but Jensen knew he hadn't had time to go jam with any of the other guys for the whole time. Frankly, he was surprised Chris hadn't appropriated every bottle of bourbon at the reception.
"The Boy Genius still flying in this weekend?" Chris asked; and then when Jensen muttered, "yeah, maybe," he laughed. "Hell yeah, he is; you've got that stupid smile and I didn't even say his name."
"Chris--" Jensen didn't even get started on the standard it's no big thing, we just hang out before Chris snorted.
"Yeah, don't bother. I've heard it all before." Chris pulled a thin leather cord off his wrist and used it to tie his hair back out of his face, which at least meant he was getting ready to leave. "You know, you're allowed to be happy with the guy. There's nothing in the divorce decree that says you're restricted to fucking only, no feelings allowed."
Go," Jensen said with a groan, because the last thing this whatever-it-was with Jared needed was Kane standing on the sidelines offering his opinions on the subject. "Please. But be back next weekend, yeah?"
Chris grunted something that sounded like a yeah, sure, whatever, but he'd be back, if only because he hated anybody else touching the knives Jensen had bought to entice him into taking the job.
The kitchen door slammed, and Jensen could hear Chris kicking his bike to life, and then finally, he really was alone. He sat at his desk and poked idly at his keyboard, and he wasn't really considering what Chris had said, but his thoughts were running along the same lines. He did like being with Jared, and since it was at least a five-hour flight for Jared to be able to see Jensen, and Jared had been making the trip for almost a year, he assumed Jared felt the same way. Jared worked hard and played harder; Jensen liked being a part of that, but he was going to be honest and admit that he probably wouldn't have let a "them" happen if they hadn't started it all knowing that it was going to be a part-time thing. Jared had always been okay with that, too. He said it worked out well with the road warrior part of consulting.
They were good together, in bed and out, but Jensen didn't know if that was only because they really weren't together all that often. They skyped a fair amount, but sometimes, like for the last couple of months, Jared was on the other side of the world, advising Eastern European countries on water treatment best practices, and they made do with firing off random emails. Still, Jensen thought, that didn't mean they were careless about each other. It just meant their lives operated on different frequencies, ones that they worked to make intersect.
Jared's last email said he'd get a car service from the airport, like usual, but Jensen was suddenly too impatient to wait. He didn't have anything else to do--he'd spent the time the cleaning crew had been there getting caught up on all the paperwork and planning he'd let slip during the last week--and even if he couldn't figure out Jared's exact flights, how hard could it be to hang out at the airport until he came by?
Jared probably looked like a total dork but he couldn't help whipping his head around in complete astonishment as it registered on his jet-lagged brain that the hand holding up the sign that read Padalecki did not, in fact, belong to the semi-anonymous driver he expected to be meeting his flight, but to Jensen. Jared stopped dead in the middle of the crowd surging out toward baggage claim and all points aloha, the half-written email on his phone forgotten as he stared, and--okay, fine, he was more than a little slow on the uptake but it was a long damn trip from Croatia to Honolulu and he hadn't slept a whole hell of a lot even before he'd gotten on the plane and been unable to upgrade to business class.
"Hey," Jensen said, one side of his mouth quirking up into a small smile. "Surprise."
"Hey," Jared answered, still a little bemused. A family all but plowed into him from behind, pushing past him with hasty apologies and squeals of excitement as an older couple stepped forward to meet them. "I--uh--" This time, it was an Asian man in a still unrumpled suit and precisely-knotted tie whose suit bag clipped Jared as the crowd surged around him, and Jensen's smile morphed into a laugh.
"Dude, come on, the car's outside in short-term parking. Let's go before you get trampled."
"I thought--" Jared shoved his phone in his pocket and fell into step with Jensen, shoulders brushing as they worked their way through the crowd. "I was going to get to your place on my own--I never even gave you my flights." He thought hard about it, but everything was still fuzzy "Right?"
"Right." Jensen shrugged. "I just--didn't want to wait." He reached out to take Jared's carry-on bag, leaving him with just the messenger bag with his stash of electronics.
"Cool," Jared murmured, letting his hand brush Jensen's. They were... complicated, which was as much Jared's doing as Jensen's, but Jensen showing up like this was good. Really, really good, in Jared's opinion, and he was tired enough that he just smiled at Jensen and left it at that. Jensen smiled back, which was also really, really good. "Oh," Jared added, his brain coming at least partially back online. "I, uh, checked a bag, so if you want to get the car...?"
"Mr. Airlines-Are-Idiots checked a bag for a week's vacation?" Jensen could arch an eyebrow like nobody Jared knew. "Seriously?"
"Work-related shit," Jared said, which wasn't exactly a lie. "You don't have to stand around here and wait for it, too--Meet me out front?" Jared tried to look casual and not like he was holding his breath not to have to get into this now.
"Sure," Jensen said after a couple of seconds. Jared knew that meant he hadn't been entirely successful with the casual gambit, but at least Jensen wasn't going to push it. "Text me when you're on your way out."
Jared only had the one bag, and while it was big enough to have to be checked, it wasn't until you lifted it that you got a sense of how much was really in it. He'd been living out of suitcases for the better part of a decade--he could pack more shit into one than anybody else he knew, including that stewardess on youtube. This one was for the long haul. He wasn't sure if he was ready to have the discussion with Jensen that went along with it; it symbolized a whole hell of a lot of change, and while Jared had asked for it, he didn't know if it was something Jensen was going to be good with. Whichever way it went, things were going to change--they were going to change--and the only thing Jared knew for sure was that he was way too jetlagged to be at his best, so he just threw the duffel in the back of Jensen's truck and pretended like it didn't exist.
Jared climbed into the front seat and slammed the door behind him, and before Jensen could pull back out into traffic, leaned over and put his hand on Jensen's leg. When Jensen turned to look at him in surprise, Jared moved the hand up to cup Jensen's jaw and brushed his mouth across Jensen's.
"It's really good to see you," Jared murmured, by way of explanation. Jensen smiled with his eyes and leaned into Jared for a second, longer kiss, lazy and slow, first little shock of tongues brushing against each other, a final jolt when Jensen bit not-quite gently at Jared's bottom lip.
"Yeah," Jensen breathed, not taking his eyes off where Jared couldn't help touching his tongue to where his lip stung. "It's really good to see you, too." He licked his own lips--Jared followed every millimeter with eager attention--but then shook his head. "If I kiss you again, I'm not sure I'll stop."
"And this is a problem, how?"
"Jared." Jensen settled himself back behind the wheel and put his blinker on, a determined look on his face. "Passenger pick up lane at Honolulu International. Non-tinted windows. Bucket seats, not a bench. I seriously don't want this to be the only time we have sex because we got arrested for indecent exposure. Or because one of us threw our back out trying to pretzel in here."
"Fine," Jared sighed. He thumped back in his own seat with an exaggerated groan, and started fiddling with the radio. "I thought I was the practical one and you were the crazy dreamer."
"I'm thinking outside the box," Jensen said with the ghost of a smirk. Jared rolled his eyes at having his own words tossed back at him, but since it was his email sig line at work, and most of the time he was sending Jensen stuff from that account, he supposed Jensen couldn't really be blamed. Traffic closed in on them as soon as they turned out of the airport, and it looked like it wasn't going away anytime soon, so Jared leaned back and let Jensen concentrate on driving. He fished his phone out and finished answering the email from Eric, his boss, and sent another quick one to Jeff, one of the project managers. Jensen was looking at him when he finished, quick glances that took in everything, so Jared made a little bit of a show as he turned it off and tucked it into his bag.
"Off the clock," he told Jensen, which was the truth for the rest of the night at least. Jensen made a noncommittal noise, one of his you work too fucking much grunts, but he let it go at that. Jared was just as happy to leave it there, too; he couldn't argue with Jensen--he did work too fucking much, but mostly because he loved it. It was vacation now, though, and Jared had already told everyone he was going off-line. Everyone laughed--Jared thought Chad might have strained something--but he was serious this time. This was just the wrap-up, part of the time he thought he'd have with the driver.
He watched Honolulu inch closer for a little while, but Jensen's car was big and comfortable and the music was low enough that Jared fell asleep before they got out more than a couple of miles into the drive. The next thing he knew, it was twilight and they were past town and over the mountains, in Kailua, not far from the bed-and-breakfast Jensen owned.
"Man, I'm sorry--you went to all the trouble to come get me and I crash out on you." Jared shook his head, clearing away the last shreds of sleep and stretched. As mortified as he was to have fallen asleep on Jensen, he had to admit he felt about a thousand times better.
"Yup," Jensen deadpanned. "You definitely owe me." His eyes flickered over Jared, and Jared was pretty sure they were lingering on where his t-shirt had ridden up. He stretched again, testing the theory, and yes, definitely, there was eye-fucking going on. Jensen's mouth might have figured prominently in a serious number of Jared's recent fantasies, but his eyes could do some definite damage of their own. Jared was pretty happy to be reminded of that.
"I'll get right on paying you back," Jared said, but then his stomach growled, and he sighed. "Or, you know, right after I feed this monster."
"I got you covered," Jensen said, with a smile. He nodded toward the glove compartment and Jared almost purred when he found the chocolate-covered macadamias. It wasn't a big bag, but it was enough to take the edge off; Jared couldn't actually remember if he'd eaten on any of his flights. He got down to the last handful and belatedly remembered his manners, holding out the cellophane bag toward Jensen. "I'm good, Jay," Jensen said, shaking his head.
"What? You're just going to watch?" Jared arched an eyebrow at Jensen, who rolled his eyes, but Jared noticed he didn't exactly look away, even if Jared had been joking. It was kind of a turn-on, but then there wasn't much about being with Jensen that wasn't. Jared shook the last few nuts into his hand, refraining from licking the bag right as Jensen down-shifted and started along the final looping road to the bed-and-breakfast. Over here on the windward side of the island, the mountains ran right down to the ocean; Jensen had told Jared once he'd bought the house, spent every penny he had and more, everything he could beg from his parents and borrow from anyone who'd lend it, because when you were in the water, surrounded by blue, you could look back and see nothing but the long fingers of the Reserve mountains, smudgy green and gray, curving down to cradle the water. You didn't see that unless you were right there though; the way the road ran along the back ridge of the mountains, you couldn't see the ocean until you were practically on top of it. The road itself was nothing special and it took a while to get through all the twists and turns, but then you'd hit the final curve and drop down into the valley with the little cove spread out at the end of it, and it was pretty fucking spectacular.
Jensen pulled around the main house to the wing where he lived and cut the engine. It was quiet--only two or three other houses along the shore--and peaceful. Jared got out and stretched properly and pretended not to be watching Jensen and the little smile that always seemed to hover around his eyes when he looked at his place.
"No cars?" Jared left the big duffel in the back and just grabbed for his overnight bag and, after a second, added all the electronic crap, more because it didn't need to stay out in the humidity than any real desire to be connected to the world. "You don't have anybody here?"
"We just said good-bye to a destination wedding," Jensen answered, unlocking the door and flicking on the lights. "Had the whole place for ten days. We made a killing on it and they left the remains of the reception in the main kitchen, but we're dead, so I'm off the books for a couple of days."
"Kane?" Jared asked, following Jensen into the suite and making for the bedroom.
"Halfway into a bottle of rum and swearing he's never cooking another thing for anyone but the most recent co-occupant of his bed," Jensen answered. "He fed everyone for everything except for the reception itself." Jared grinned--Chris had a love/hate relationship with the kitchen. It was pure love so long as it meant he could impress whoever he was sleeping with or so long as it meant he was making his rent. Anything more, or anything that interfered with him and a guitar, and he got pissy. Having to produce food for more than one meal a day had probably grated on his last nerve, and it wasn't like the guy had much patience to begin with. But that wasn't the important take-away from what Jensen had just said; Jared brought his attention back to what really mattered.
"So, it's just us?"
"Yeah," Jensen answered, one side of his mouth quirking up into that smile that Jared loved. "Just us."
"Awesome," Jared said.
The shower in Jensen's suite was pretty much the best thing ever. Jared thought his memory might have been exaggerating, but as soon as his feet hit the stone, he was back with the program. It was one of the ones that was just a wall across the front in the same stone as the floor and the other walls, open across the back third, and a rainfall shower head set into the ceiling so that it felt as though you were out in a waterfall. A heated waterfall. The first time Jared had seen it, Jensen had actually been embarrassed, mumbling about how it wasn't his idea and it just came with the house. Jared had laughed, because, yeah, it was kind of over the top; but if he was being honest, it had been the first time he'd seen this cool, laid-back guy, the one who'd more-or-less saved Jared from the entire disaster that vacationing with Chad turned out to be, get flustered over anything, and that was really fucking adorable. Then Jared had actually gotten into the shower and it was unbelievable and he'd literally put his hand over Jensen's mouth to stop the protests.
As Jared stripped off his t-shirt and jeans, he could hear Jensen moving around in the bedroom, so he called, "Did I mention how happy I am that you haven't given in to your voluntary simplicity side and gotten rid of this shower?"
"Yeah?" Jensen answered, coming closer. Jared got the water started and got himself under the waterfall right as Jensen opened the bathroom door. "What if I told you I only kept it for you?"
"I'd call you a liar," Jared said, laughing. "Liar, liar, liar. You are way too..."
"Go ahead, call me cheap," Jensen said. "I'm a big boy, I can take it."
"Frugal," Jared substituted, because whatever Jensen said, Jared wasn't going to start calling the guy a cheapskate. At least not before there had been some quality naked time to ease the sting. "You are way too frugal to tear out a functioning shower just because it embarrasses you."
He braced himself against the wall so the water was gushing down on his shoulders and neck and moaned a little at how good it felt. Okay, so maybe he moaned a lot. It was next to impossible to find a shower that was set high enough to hit the back of his neck in the best of times, let alone after he'd been on one flight or another for nearly twenty-four hours.
"Okay, so you're not wrong about my, uh, frugality, but if you think those noises you make every time you get in that shower aren't a factor in keeping it, you definitely aren't using the analytical brain you're supposed to have." Jensen had this incredible deadpan; Jared always forgot about it until he'd say something like that and close the door and be gone before Jared could actually process the words and react. This time, though, when Jared came out of the bathroom, looking for his overnight bag and clean clothes, Jensen was leaning against the dresser, not even pretending to be busy, just there, waiting for Jared.
"I missed you," Jared said, without thinking. They were supposed to be keeping this whole thing between them low-key, casual, because Jensen was here, and Jared was, well, not, was everywhere but in one place, and they both agreed there wasn't any sense in creating drama. They'd both had more than enough of that in previous relationships. Neither one of them was looking for anything life-altering. They said that to each other a lot; lately, Jared was starting to think they did it as though the sheer repetition would make it be true. They stayed in touch, emails and phone calls, and the occasional visit when they had the time. It was more than Jared had with anyone else but his family; and it was supposed to be enough. The words slipped out anyway.
"Yeah," Jensen said quietly. "Yeah, me too."
Jared was three steps across the room before he thought about it, but Jensen's eyes never left him, and he made the rest of the trip acutely conscious of how he was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, how the t-shirt Jensen wore stretched across his shoulders, how the crisp white made it so his skin almost glowed in the low light from the bedside lamp. Jensen straightened up as Jared got closer, and when Jared stopped, just inside Jensen's personal space, Jensen was who took the final step and pressed them together.
"Oh, fuck," Jared groaned as Jensen ran his teeth up Jared's neck, quick nip to his collarbone, long, light scrape up to a lingering bite under his jaw. Jared tilted his head back and tried--and failed--not to whine. Jensen smiled against his skin; Jared could feel it without even looking. "Okay, fine, I'm easy," Jared gasped. "You knew this already."
"I'm just enjoying the reminders," Jensen murmured, his breath striking cool against the skin he'd dampened. Jared didn't think that was the only reason he shivered, but his brain wasn't exactly functioning--Jensen had added long strokes up and down Jared's back, his nails scraping lightly along the length of Jared's spine--so what did he know? He got his own hands up under Jensen's shirt, and that was good, skin on skin; Jensen inhaled once, quick and sharp against Jared's shoulder, and that was better. Getting his mouth on Jensen's and swallowing down the next soft sound he made was better yet.
"Jay," Jensen murmured when Jared let him go. His hands were low on Jared's back, the tips of his fingers sliding under the towel. "Let me?"
He tugged gently, tipping his head back so he could look at Jared, as though he thought Jared might have a problem with losing his towel.
"Anything," Jared said, shivering as Jensen stripped the towel down and off and dropped to his knees in the same fluid motion. Jensen slanted another look up at Jared, his expression intense and focused. Before Jared could even really process how fucking gorgeous he was, he'd leaned forward and closed his mouth around Jared's dick, swirling his tongue along and under the crown before sucking hard at the head. "Oh, god," Jared gritted out, bracing himself on the dresser as all the blood in his body raced to his dick.
He was only starting to get hard, and during one spectacular round of phone sex not long after they met, Jensen had confessed he liked starting off like that--fucking love it, Jay, love it when you're soft in my mouth and I can suck you hard--so it wasn't a surprise, Jensen going down on him like that, and not that Jensen was normally unsure or hesitant--Jared didn't think that was ever true--but this time he was fierce and aggressive, taking Jared's cock as though he owned it and wasn't planning on allowing Jared to do anything but exactly what Jensen wanted.
And what Jensen wanted, apparently, was to make Jared scream.
He pulled off enough that he could cup Jared's balls in one hand, squeezing and rolling them without mercy, while he worked the head of Jared's dick just as ruthlessly with his mouth, rubbing hard at the bundle of nerves under the crown with the flat of his tongue, stopping that only to scrape his teeth along and over the very tip, and then sucking Jared deep to start it all again.
Jared heard himself babbling, pleading, Jensen's name and jumbled words that made no sense, except Jensen understood him perfectly. He let Jared, so far gone he could barely remember his name, much less his manners, fuck his throat without a break, taking every inch of Jared over and over, not pulling away even when he was choking on Jared's come.
Jared was still dazed and shaking when Jensen surged to his feet, his mouth swollen and red, his breathing ragged, harsh. He kissed Jared with a desperate edge, and Jared could feel his dick, hard and thick under the soft cotton of his cargoes. Jared got his head together enough to wrap his arms around Jensen and hold him close, returning his kisses with equal intensity. He hissed at how harsh that cotton felt on his own sensitized dick, but wasn't at all willing to let there be space between them.
"Want you," Jensen gasped in between those wild, crazy kisses. "Want to be in you, want to fuck you so bad, Jay. Need it."
Jared managed to make a noise that he hoped Jensen would take as agreement, but since he was already backing toward the bed, his hands digging into Jensen's hips to make sure he moved, too, Jared didn't think words were particularly necessary.
Except for the first time, which had been awkward as hell and really not that good, it had always been seriously fucking hot between them. It didn't matter if Jared was fucking or being fucked, or who was sucking whom off--or if they were sixty-nining and fighting hard to make the other one come first--Jared couldn't remember too many other guys he'd been with who'd gotten him off so hard, and he was pretty sure Jensen agreed. He didn't expect this time to be any different, but usually, Jensen was all about the slow build, liked to take his time and draw it out, make Jared crazy one inexorable step at a time. This was... really not that.
This was Jensen all over Jared, hands and mouth greedy and possessive, so hungry and impatient Jared couldn't catch his breath. It was Jensen tugging impatiently at his own clothes, dragging them off in a feverish rush so he could crawl up over Jared and kiss him again, hard and rough, his tongue fucking into Jared's mouth in a hard rhythm that demanded everything Jared had. He kissed Jared, took his mouth and used it, and then did it again--and then pulled away abruptly, his lips and teeth leaving a trail of over-sensitized skin in their wake.
"Jesus, Jen," Jared gasped as Jensen bit at the pulse under his jaw and sucked a bruise into his collarbone. He didn't even manage that much when Jensen moved on to tease at his nipples, licking them to hardness before worrying at them with his teeth. Jared made a helpless sort of a noise, not even strong enough to be a whimper as Jensen moved back and forth, quick, sharp nips that stung enough on their own, but layered on top of each other, left Jared shaking and panting. Before Jared had to call Jensen off--as good as it felt, it was edging over into too intense, too painful--Jensen eased off and worked his way down Jared's body to tongue-fuck his navel--as light and playful as he'd been intense just seconds before--and drifted over to kiss-bite a bruise into the point of Jared's hip.
He was such a fucking tease, and Jared did his best to communicate that, but then Jensen was licking down the crease of Jared's thigh, his tongue curling around Jared's balls, licking lower, and Jared shut his mouth for fear of losing the feel of Jensen's tongue on his skin.
"Fuck, Jen, come on," he gasped, and Jensen didn't deny him, only pushed Jared's thighs up and over his shoulders and worked his tongue up inside Jared. "Jen," Jared said, far closer to a wail than he was comfortable admitting. "Jen, please."
Jensen fucked Jared with his tongue, quick and dirty and so fucking hot Jared could feel his dick starting to get hard again. Jensen felt it, too, and he stopped tonguing Jared long enough to whisper, "Yeah, Jay, yeah--want to fuck another one out of you."
"Yes," Jared groaned. "Fuck, yes, please." He held himself the way Jensen wanted him to, and moved when Jensen told him to, and found himself on his hands and knees, legs spread wide and his ass in the air. Jensen spread him wider and pushed into him with a long, slow stroke that rubbed hard against Jared's prostate and made him buck, made his dick fill that much faster.
After five strokes, Jared was shaking; after ten, he put his head down and wailed into the mattress. He was hard again, his dick and balls heavy and aching between his legs, as though he hadn't just come in a blinding, shaking rush. Jensen kept fucking him, stopping only to smack Jared's ass when he tried to get a hand on himself and help matters along. Jensen didn't say anything in words, but his growl was clear enough: only Jensen got to get Jared off. He stayed still, buried deep inside Jared until Jared bought a clue and gasped out an apology, and then smacked Jared's ass one more time and went back to the fucking, harder now, and a little faster. Jared dug his hands into the mattress and pushed back as best he could, but mostly, he just had to keep his ass up and take what Jensen was giving him. The thought of that--of Jensen, normally the most easy-going of lovers, demanding that control, and Jared letting him have it--was like a crazy feedback loop, taking every touch, every stroke, and magnifying it tenfold. Jensen pushed him to the edge and kept him there until he was begging for it, and all it took was Jensen wrapping his hand around Jared's cock and he was coming again, helpless and shaking. Jensen fucked him through it, and then, once he was sure Jared was good, picked up his pace until he was pounding into Jared, every stroke deep and rough, and Jared still just took it, his nerves overloaded and his brain dazed, but hanging on until Jensen lost it, too.
Jensen hadn't been kidding--the fridge in the main house was packed with catering boxes and half-drunk bottles of wine and champagne. Jared was impressed--not that that was hard to do by then. Between his general exhaustion and the fading rush of fucking, especially the second orgasm Jensen had drawn out of him, Jared was pretty upfront about being basically brain dead. He draped himself over Jensen's back and nodded as enthusiastically as possible at every suggestion, because really, it all sounded good.
"Don't make fun of me," he mumbled when Jensen laughed and said he might be better off just sitting down. "‘S your fault I'm like this. You broke me."
"Is this a case of ‘you break it, you buy it'?" Jensen asked, and even as tired as Jared was, he could tell it was just a joke. That didn't seem to make a difference to his mouth, though.
"If you want it to be," Jared heard himself saying. He stayed still and more-or-less stopped breathing, waiting for Jensen's answer. Jensen was pretty still, too, but finally he sighed, and brought one hand up to stroke along Jared's forearm where it was looped around his chest.
"Maybe we should talk about that?" Jensen sounded rueful, his voice soft and full of regret, and Jared wasn't sure how they'd gone from brain-melting sex to what suddenly sounded like the start of a break-up, but now was not the time to be out of it.
"Yeah," Jared answered quietly. "We can do that." He stomped down on the urge to plead jet lag and ask if they could talk about it in the morning. He'd worked through a lot of nights more tired than he was now, and if he could crunch diff-eqs like that, he could talk to Jensen, for God's sake. Besides, it wasn't as though Jensen was going to forget all about it after a little sleep. Jared told himself to man-up. He turned his head enough that he could press a kiss to Jensen's temple and then made himself let go and settle down on a bar stool pulled up to the island in the middle of the kitchen.
Jensen brought over an armful of the catering boxes and handed Jared a fork to go along with the food. Jared tried not to think of it as a condemned man's last meal, but for all that Jensen was Mr. Laidback, Jared didn't like how he wasn't meeting Jared's eyes, only poking at the contents of one of the boxes. Jared didn't think Jensen was actually seeing whatever it was he was shredding, but then Jared wasn't seeing much either.
"I just--" Jensen started. He sighed and Jared put his fork down and reached across the island to grab Jensen's hand. Jensen smiled at him, and if it was a small smile, it was a real one. Jared counted that as a win. "I'm not sure anything's changed," Jensen finally said.
Jared took a deep breath and made himself count to five--ten probably would have been better, but he probably would have choked on everything that wanted to be said. He kept his voice quiet when he asked, "Is that me or you?"
"Both of us," Jensen sighed. He let Jared keep holding his hand, though. "We're not anywhere different than we were when we started this--"
"Hey, I'm not underwater, needing to be rescued," Jared said, mock-indignantly, totally fine with making fun of himself if it meant he could chase that closed-off expression out of Jensen's eyes. Besides, however embarrassing it had been to be knocked over by a wave--and it had been pretty close to mortifying when Jensen had rushed in to help him, like Jared was some overgrown damsel in distress, or a clueless mainlander--at least it had been at Waimea, where the waves were actually big. Plus, Jared thought he'd have suffered through more than getting knocked around by some water to have ended up here, with Jensen.
"You know what I mean, Jay." Jensen might have been smiling around the eyes, but his voice was serious. "That duffel--you're here on the way to somewhere else, and... I'm not going to make you choose."
Jared waited for a couple of seconds, then said, "Okay, that's me, but you said it was both of us."
"Yeah." Jensen shrugged. "It's the same deal I've always had, you know?"
"Bad divorce, not ready for anything serious, perfectly happy with your life the way it is." Jared recited the words softly, and Jensen shrugged again. Jared was hit with a sudden cold thought that maybe there was more, maybe there was somebody more, and he blurted out, "It's not anything else, is it? Anyone else?"
"No." Jensen half-laughed. "No, nobody else has decided to put up with my iss--"
"Yeah, it's a total charity case on my end," Jared said, squeezing Jensen's hand once more before letting go. "I'm a giver." Jensen rolled his eyes; Jared grinned at him. Maybe, just maybe, Jared could talk his way around this. He settled down and got serious. "I do have a new project--they wanted me to stay on in Zagreb, but they didn't really need me and... I was really tired of being on the other side of the world. There was a smaller project starting up so I asked for that." Jared took a deep breath; he'd thought this was going to be dicey because he hadn't wanted Jensen to feel like he was getting blindsided, rushed into something more than he was ready for, but now Jared was nervous that it wasn't going to be enough. "The bad news is that they need me there on Wednesday."
Jensen shook his head. He didn't have to say a word for Jared to hear the See?, so he hurried on. "The good news is that I'm based in Pearl City."
"Pearl City," Jensen repeated. "The one on the other side of Honolulu." His voice was even, but flat, almost emotionless, and this was really what Jared was worried about.
"I know this is completely out of the blue, and I probably should have talked to you about it, but it literally came on the table not even two days ago and I thought, you know, we could see what it was like, being in the same time zone for a change."
Jensen still had that shut-down look about his eyes; they hadn't ever talked about their pasts--focus on the present, that was more their style--but it occurred to Jared that he really didn't know what kind of baggage Jensen was dragging with him.
"They'll set me up with a place in Pearl City, a corporate apartment or something," Jared said, quietly. "I'll probably be there most of the time if I'm not out on a ship. I'm not suggesting we move in together." He couldn't tell what was going on behind Jensen's eyes, but this was it. If he didn't give it his best shot now, he'd regret it for a long time. "I know you said you were still in the same place you were when we met, but..." He took a deep breath. "I don't think that's true, and you can tell me to back off, and I will, but this whole day has been different and it's not just me. I think you know it, too, and that's what's got you freaked."
Jensen's mouth tightened, but he didn't tell Jared to get out, and he didn't turn away, which was at least something. Jared tried desperately to convince himself that it was enough, but the little bit of energy he'd gotten from the nap he'd taken in the car was long gone, and the adrenaline from the conversation itself was draining fast. He was left feeling like he'd been hit by a truck, tired and dispirited; it was hard to find the upside of anything.
"Jay," Jensen sighed, and this was it. Jared braced to hear the it's not you, it's me speech, but all Jensen said was, "You look like shit; go crash. We can talk about this later."
Jared tried to think if giving up the field was going to be a tactical disadvantage, but his brain was fuzzy and nothing made sense. He gave up and pushed himself to his feet, finally, and got halfway down the hall toward Jensen's bedroom before it struck him that maybe he should be sleeping somewhere else. He stopped and turned back, but Jensen only flapped his hand at him, like Jared was being deliberately obstructionist, so Jared gave up trying to work out what was going on and kept going until he could pitch forward onto the big bed and pass out.
Jensen wandered around the house, doing his nightly rounds. It was nothing big, brainless for the most part--making sure all the windows were closed and latched and lights were turned off, stuff like that. It was soothing, though, like he was checking in with all the bits and pieces of his life. He hadn't built the house, but he'd done a lot of work since he'd bought it. Every paint job, every new floor had his name on it. He ended in his bedroom, as always, except that this night Jared was there. Jensen stood just inside the door, the light from the hall enough that he could see how Jared had sprawled out on top of the sheets, and it occurred to Jensen that Jared was another part of this life he'd built from what had felt like the end of the world.
A good part, he admitted, and maybe Jared was right. Maybe Jensen wasn't the same guy who'd been everybody's friend but no more than that because there hadn't felt like there was anything left after the divorce. Thinking about it, about Jared being there more than just occasionally, was mostly good. Maybe the part that wasn't, the part that was yelling at him about not getting involved... maybe that was just an echo of what had been necessary before.
Jensen turned out the light and made his way across the room in the dark. The moon was up and bright enough that his eyes adjusted quickly; the more he looked, the more Jared fit. Or, rather, the more he noticed how Jared fit, because he had the feeling Jared had been fitting for a good long while, Jensen just hadn't been paying attention. He tossed a light blanket on top of Jared and got under it on the other side of the bed. If Jared hadn't known how to tell Jensen about staying on Oahu, maybe he hadn't been paying attention either. Jensen should probably think more about all of it, but Jared was breathing stead and deep, and for all that it was barely nine o'clock, Jensen was asleep almost before he even had that thought.
The way the house was situated on the land, with the mountains rising steeply behind it, and the ocean in front, the very early morning light, before the sun cleared the mountains and shone down unobstructed, had a diffuse, reflective quality as it bounced off the water and lightened what should have been a deep shade. When Jensen opened his eyes, it was not long after dawn, he judged, with no clouds throwing extra shadows. Jared was still sprawled out next to Jensen, but Jensen could tell by his breathing that he was already awake.
"Are you sure about this project?" Jensen said, rolling up on one elbow so he could look at Jared properly. "You said it was smaller--"
"I'm not tanking my career path, if that's what you're worried about," Jared answered. "Also, good morning. You're awfully coherent today."
Jensen rolled his eyes; he was perfectly coherent in the mornings, he just never quite saw the need to demonstrate that fact.
"It's a thing to clean up more of the munitions that are still all over the harbor," Jared said. "Which isn't all that exciting, except we got cleared to use a couple of underwater robotic arms." He grinned up at Jensen, clear and bright, and Jensen had to grin back. "Like what they use for deep-water salvage--there's a list a mile long to get access to those things."
"New toys aside," Jensen said slowly. "Is this really what you want?"
"Yes," Jared said. "I mean, I know there aren't any guarantees, that we might get really tired of each other after a couple of weeks, but... yes. This is what I want."
He said it firmly, decisively, but then he looked at Jensen, really looked, and Jensen could see how wide open he was leaving himself, hope mixed with fear and maybe something more. It looked a lot like Jensen felt himself.
"What," Jared said, and then stopped to swallow hard. "What do you want?"
I don't want anything to change, Jensen thought automatically, but then he realized that was true, but not in the defensive, knee-jerk reaction he'd been operating from as a default. He didn't want anything to change, but it already had. He had Jared here, in his bed, in his life, and that was what he didn't want to change.
"This," Jensen heard himself say, easy and sure, and Jared stared at him, mouth gaping wide before he flopped back down on the bed with a whoosh of air from his lungs. "Jay?"
"Good," Jared said faintly, throwing an arm up to cover his eyes. "I'm good; I'm just gonna... lay here and breathe for a while, ‘k?"
"Drama queen," Jensen said, and laughed when Jared flipped him off without looking at him. He let himself relax a little, but for all Jared was halfway back to the slow, deep breaths that had lulled Jensen to sleep the night before, Jensen wasn't following along now. He was awake for good, he thought, and eased cautiously off the mattress. Jared rolled toward him with a wordless, questioning murmur. "Gonna go swim, okay?"
Jared made another noise, still sleepy, but agreeable, so Jensen moved as quietly as he could to find board shorts and a rash guard, because it didn't matter if it was freakishly early in the morning: if he wasn't careful, he'd end up fried, and he had no desire to spend the next few days a sunburn bad enough that he couldn't stand to be touched, not when he had Jared around to do lots of touching.
The water was calm and warmish, perfect for a swim long enough to make up for at least a few of the mornings he'd missed recently. Jensen alternated strokes and made it across the cove and back without feeling like he was overdoing it. Swimming was his thing, mental as well as physical; after the first eighth of a mile or so, he'd usually find a rhythm and let his subconscious work through the issues of the day. This morning, he expected to be fighting through bad memories, but the only bits that surfaced were linked with Jared and they were all good. It was like getting an unexpected green light from his subconscious. It left him feeling pretty damn awesome.
Jensen padded through the house and back up to his room, rubbing absently at his hair and body with a towel, trying to to drip too much on the hardwoods. Jared was approximately in the same position, but he opened his eyes when Jensen got close.
"Hey," Jared murmured. "I didn't dream all that, did I?"
"No way you're getting out of this one." Jensen wasn't even tempted to screw with Jared's head; he judged that a sign of how far gone he really was. Instead, he just reached out and traced his thumb over Jared's lower lip, forgetting how to breathe when Jared sucked the tip of it into his mouth.
"Salty," Jared said, biting down. Jensen made a noise that he'd deny to his dying day, except Jared did it again, and Jensen was happy he wasn't begging.
"Shower," Jensen managed to say, and Jared smiled. It wasn't one of his big, open smiles; it was feral and possessive, and it twisted something hard inside Jensen.
"Yes," he purred and threw back the covers to follow--stalk--Jensen into the bathroom. Jensen stripped off his wet clothes and Jared's voice dropped even lower. "I like this shower--have I told you that?"
"Possibly," Jensen murmured, fumbling the water on. Jared was leaning against the stone wall, his eyes traveling over every inch of Jensen as though he was surveying his property before he moved in to claim it. It was incredibly distracting; Jensen was pretty proud he managed not to dump freezing--or scalding--water over himself. "More than once, even."
"I like it even more with you in it." Jared crowded close behind Jensen, his hands already slick with soap and sliding over Jensen's skin, chest and belly and thighs, and then curving in to cup Jensen's cock, his balls.
"Jared," Jensen gasped, but then couldn't think of another word. Jared stroked Jensen slowly, one big hand on his belly to hold him steady. He kept his pace deliberate and measured, and his hand was slippery enough from the soap that it wasn't nearly enough to get Jensen off, only tease him unmercifully.
"Like that," Jared murmured as Jensen pushed into his hand. "Yeah, that's good, Jen; so good." Jared was hard against Jensen but Jared ignored it in favor of an intense focus on Jensen. Jensen shuddered and writhed in Jared's arms, panting hard and then choking out a fuck, yeah when Jared shifted his free hand so he could drag his nails across Jensen's chest, over his nipples, down his abs.
Jared kept to that maddeningly slow pace, laughing softly when Jensen cursed him for being a control freak. "Sticks and stones, Jen," he answered and bit down on the back of Jensen's shoulder. He didn't speed up, not precisely, but every stroke after was that much harder, that much tighter. Jensen could feel it building in his belly and thighs, slow and inexorable, braced himself to take it like that for as long as Jared wanted; but then Jared pushed him against the wall and there were three fingers working up inside Jensen with no stretching, no prep. The shock of it, the sudden fierce burn, sent Jensen reeling and before he could catch his breath, Jared was back with four fingers, forcing them deeper, and Jensen came with a howl.
"So fucking hot," Jared growled, grinding his cock into Jensen's hip and coming all over him. "Next time," he gasped. "Next time I'm fucking you in here for real, make you come on my cock, nothing else."
Jensen shuddered weakly, whimpering at the thought, sudden and visceral, of being held against the cool, rough stone while Jared pushed into him, hot and slick, forcing Jensen up on his toes until the only thing that would be holding him up would be Jared's hands on his hips, Jared's dick in his ass. Jared growled wordlessly against him, as though he could read Jensen's thoughts.
Jensen made another embarrassing noise as Jared slid his hand free, halfway between whining for more and purring with contentment. Jared rested his forehead against the back of Jensen's shoulder, and they stood there under the water until their breathing evened out.
"Next time. Tomorrow. Or the next day," Jared promised, and Jensen nodded, because they really did have a tomorrow and he was very, very good with that.
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I want to be in that shower with Jared too, guh!
Made my Sunday even better, thanks so much for sharing.
*hugs*
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Is there going to be anymore?! I'd love to see how things work out for them! : )
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And yes, ::happy sigh:: Hawaii. Kaneohe. The planes scream out from K-Bay, but it's otherwise so peaceful.
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Love that so much. Adore how much these guys clearly like each other but are afraid to push too much, but then once they do...it's right. ♥
What happens NEXT? *hand on chin*
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This one? Is lovely. You got all the roller-coaster emotions spot-on, and the shower sex is blinding. Unf.
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