As the 202x's continue to suck remain challenging (and as challenging as my specific situation remains, I am very aware and grateful for all the ways in which it isn't sucking, ie: a good, safe place to live; a job I actually like (burnout/buyout aside); access to medical care, frustrating though it may be; multiple grocery options (so when I randomly decide to create something crazy for dinner, it's totally feasible to run out to get that one last weird ingredient (Kiwi mayo, anyone?))), the one thing that has really, consistently brought me joy has been writing my way through long, novel-length fic ideas even though I don't really have outlines or any sort of general plan other than HEA. (For the record, those have been all your perfect imperfections, Star Trek: Discovery, Pike/Tilly, 93K words; baby, won't you swing it with me, MCU, Darcy/Steve (aka, ShieldShock), 31K words; and waiting in the eye of the storm, MCU, Darcy/Bucky (aka, WinterShock), 76K words.)

So. Ten (!!!) years ago today, I started posting what remains my most popular fic, you need a rock not a rolling stone, MCU, Darcy/Clint. I finished it right before The Avengers came out in the US, and I've posted a couple of short timestamps, but I've also been kicking around a sequel, in the grand tradition of romance novels where the focus turns to a different couple who were supporting characters in the original. In this case, that's Steve/Natasha, less because I planned it that way and more because by the time I got to the end of the original, I realized my subconscious had been setting them up without any actual input from me. But, you know, it's been years and I never quite got around to finishing it. Except now I want to and I don't care that I haven't plotted it all out, because I hadn't plotted out any of the rest, so clearly, I need to get that WiP jolt of fear and anticipation going and finish telling myself the story to stay ahead of any kind of regular posting.

Thus, I present: you don't have to stand up all alone, 1/?, MCU, Steve/Natasha, partners/friends to lovers, aka Endgame? what fucking Endgame?

hi, hi, ducking in before the complete holiday madness hits to wish you all a lovely winter holiday of your choice (belated but no less heartfelt for Hannukah and Solstice.)

I finished up work yesterday (though it's really less 'finished' and more 'made myself a list and closed the laptop') and will not go back until January 4. I'm debating deleting Slack off my phone, though we're pretty much closed up for the next fortnight so it should be quiet. (I hate having to reconfigure things when I reinstall.)

Today, I need to excavate the giant pile of shipping boxes and padded envelopes and make sure everything I ordered did indeed come in so that I can make any emergency adjustments tomorrow, if necessary. If I don't have to do anything, I might bake tomorrow, at least some candy cane brownies or sugar cookies that I can smother in sugar sprinkles.

Right now, I'm trying to figure out what food I have and what I need--I've already gone by Trader Joe's and Whole Foods for fun stuff (why yes, I did hunt down the last of the Talenti Peppermint Bark gelato across 5 different WF, why do you ask?) I think I have too much food, but all the kids are home and I'm happy to feed them their favorites without resorting to UberEasts or DoorDash so here I am with a jam-packed fridge and two freezers.

Fannishly speaking, I started watching S2 of The Witcher (I think we got to 2 eps) and we watched Tick, Tick, Boom last night (which, if no one has told you, the scene in the diner has every single Broadway legend you can think of in it. I made the kids stop so I could figure everyone out. They were less impressed.) And now I kinda want to go re-watch Rent. I'm still only on Ep 3 of Hawkeye, still haven't seen Shang Chi, and am contemplating going to see Spidey on Monday morning, when hopefully everyone will be other places. (We all finally got our boosters & I got a whole new batch of KN95 masks, I might risk it in the theater. I might also buy extra seats so we have a buffer around us. We’ll see.)

Bookwise, I'm in the middle of my annual re-listen to The Twelve Clues of Christmas, which is one of Rhys Bowen's Her Royal Spyness cozy mysteries, so lots of dead bodies with bonus pre-WWII English country Christmas setting. Next is possibly Rosamunde Pilcher's Winter Solstice--no bodies, just minor melodramas in the Scottish countryside, also at Christmas. I've lost count of how many times I've read/listened to them, but listening keeps me company while I run around and try to get things pulled together for the holidays.

Ok, I have shoved lunch at everyone & the kids have headed out to shop, so I am going to start digging through the aforementioned pile of presents & see what’s what.

Oh! I posted another chapter this morning, so my Darcy/Bucky post-WV/TFATWS fic is up over 50K words (and as I had suspected previously, the slow burn blew up so it’s rated Explicit now, waiting in the eye of the storm.

Ok, now I really am going to go deal with holiday stuff. Have a good day/night/morning!

Still here, still plugging along. Who knew 2021 was going to be like a reboot of 2020 where time means nothing? The weather has finally started edging into autumn which is such a relief, but we had so much rain in late summer that the trees are still really green. It's a bit of a cognitive whiplash.

( cutting for caregiver ramblings b/c that's 90% of what I think about these days )

( cutting for random medical stuff for me )

( work stuff )

The best thing that's happened is that L & the other Beach Week moms kidnapped me to Hilton Head, where I didn't have to do anything but sit in the hot tub and put on the (super comfy but still cute) dresses they had for me to go to dinner. It was pretty awesome not to have to think about anything other than whether I wanted coconut rum in my Dole Whip float or if I wanted to go with the spiced dark rum on that run to the snack bar. At some point, I'll get a few pictures up on Insta. (scenery only prob)

Reading has been at a total standstill lately, with about a dozen books going back to the library with maybe 20 pages read in each. Even at HH, I couldn't summon the focus to even read graphic novels. The only saving grace has been a run of Elizabeth Peters' books that I read in the 70s and 80s that are available w/o purchase on Audible. The narrator for the Included In Your Membership versions is not the best, but she's good enough for keeping my brain from spiraling while I do the dishes or dust or whatever. I still have 13 books on hold at the library, trying to figure out what might work, so maybe this logjam will break? I hate not being able to read; it makes me cranky as shit.

The other good thing is that I've cracked 30k words on the Darcy/Bucky slow-burn romance fic and sort of know where I'm going next with it all (all in the quest for the HEA that my brain always demands.)

So, yeah: waiting in the eye of the storm, still rated on the Teen end of Mature (though at some point I could see this going over hard into Explicit, because, myGOD but they are taking this slowly and when something finally gives, I feel like it's going to go nuclear.)

In something of a surprise, BabyBoy & I are watching Yuri!!! on Ice together -- he's seen it already but is patiently waiting until I have the mental bandwidth to deal with subtitles. We're 3? 4? episodes in and it is as lovely as everyone has said. I'm also semi-spoiled for the big reveal but it's fine; I'm enjoying all of it regardless. :D

I finally finished Star Wars: Rebels, which I think has the most coherent arc & execution of any SW-related project I've seen. And then, we were going to get into the whole Siege of Mandalor arc on Clone Wars, but life got a little complicated, so they took a side-step and showed me the one episode with Obi Wan and Satine and I'm counting my blessings they did not film me as I watched because I was cackling from about 90 seconds in. Count me among the Obi Wan/Satine 'shippers, for real. Now I need to go back in for Mando S2, and I'll possibly catch up on the Siege episodes. Clone Wars just doesn't hold my attention but I like the general arc of the story, so I'm going to just fill in around the edges.

I finally watched the most recent Little Women, which I both loved and had great ambivalence about. ( cutting even though it's been nearly 2 years since the release )

I'm almost through with a full rewatch of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries -- If anything, I'm surprised how much I'm still enjoying it. I'd almost expected to lose interest after a few episodes, but I'm only a couple from the end of the 3rd season and happily watching along (I'm watching through a library add-on so I only get a few episodes each month, but that's fine.)


I also just rewatched The Big Chill, which I thought held up well over the years, but wow, the drugs were ... a lot. I was there during that era, so I'm not saying it's wrong, but looking at it now, yeah, a LOT.

At some point, I swear I'm going to watch Shadow and Bone, but I should probably get on with Mando and Loki, so those are on deck.

In personal news, work continues to be both mad ricochets and thoughtful support, so I guess I'm happy about the support and wish the actual project work might smooth out in time. (The whole industry is just so bad for my tendency to procrastinate--I *know* there's a better than even chance that whatever date they're giving me will slip, so it encourages my bad habits about just not jumping in and doing things, because it never fails that when I do, it changes later down the line, so I'm better off just waiting and doing it all in a power rush at the end, because it'll be that rush anyway.) Ah, well, only a couple more years and the R-word becomes viable.

For fun things, I started posting the latest thing I've been noodling on, if only to get the early parts out of my head and let my brain focus on the rest of the story, so the first chapter of waiting in the eye of the storm, a post-Wandavision/mid-TFATWS Darcy/Bucky is out in the world.

It...has been a week, y'all. D is having stroke-related issues; no one is really sleeping; we did a jaunt to the ER; work has been busy... I don't know, my brain is mush.

I did finally finish the Steve/Darcy fic I've been poking at for the last few months (strictly speaking, it's been in my Drafts folder for years and years, but it started coming together last fall.) It ended up being a smidge over 30K words, so there's yet another Darcy-related novella my brain has presented me with, *g*: baby, won't you swing it with me.

Now I need to go pick another one of my WiPs and see what happens when I keep poking at it.

I'd also like to refine my thoughts on Wandavision after 1.06 (the Halloween ep) ( behind the cut )

...aaaand stopping now before I give myself a hand cramp, :D, have a good evening!

I almost never get this done before the middle of January, but hey, not going anywhere/doing anything for the holidays, but this is what I posted in 2020:

loving you whether whether === MCU, Darcy/Sam (~3700 words / 1 chapter)

all your perfect imperfections === Star Trek: Discovery, Chris Pike/Sylvia Tilly (~60,800 words written/posted in 2020)

never spend all your love === The Old Guard, gen, Joe/Nicky (~5475 words)

kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight === The Old Guard, gen, Joe/Nicky (~12,000 words)

taste salt on the humid wind === The Old Guard, Joe/Nicky (~7000 words)

baby, won't you swing it with me === MCU, Darcy/Steve (~14,200 words / 5 chapters posted in 2020)

( and the various questions about them all )

Previous years: 2019 |2018 |2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004

The election madness continues, as we have both Senate seats in a run-off here, plus a hand count audit & probably a recount by the end of the week. The run-off isn't until the beginning of January so that's going to really drag on, but it's def better than having lost those seats.

Just think of me when your news provider of choice mentions the ongoing GOTV efforts, as my phone is blowing up with the texts and calls already and I can't see it easing off anytime soon.

Random links and things of interest:

I did FINALLY finish the Nicky/Joe pwp I started months ago only to have my brain insist on 12K words of emotional backstory first. Sexytimes happen at taste salt on the humid wind

Romancelandia (or at least the part of it that I hang out in) is running a fund-raiser to benefit several on-the-ground voting activist groups here in Georgia: Romancing the Runoff. It's a little overwhelming, but fun to browse through the many, many listings.

Linda Holmes of NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour has once again taken one for the team and pulled together a Guide to 2020 Holiday Movies. (In related news, I finally broke down and watched my first one: Netflix's Operation: Christmas Drop, which was not bad on the usual scale of these sorts of things. It wasn't completely whitewashed; women were in positions of authority, both in and out of the military; no one had to be bad at their job for the holiday miracle to occur; there were no aggravating love triangles. (Also, our main couple had something of a Harry/Meghan vibe, like a non-royal AU, if that's your thing.)

After they immigrated from southern Italy, mother's family worked their way through the coal mines of early 20th C West Virginia and settled in the mountains, so while they're not who you think of when you think of Appalachia, that was where she and all of her (literal) 62 first cousins grew up and made their way through the American Dream. Even when she and my dad settled on the coast, she missed the mountains and loved John Denver's Country Roads (really. We played it at her funeral mass and if you don't think it takes a fair amount of stubbornness to get a Catholic priest to okay a pop song for a recessional, I am here to assure you that you are wrooooong.) Anyway. The song is a Big Thing in my family and I'd never seen this clip of JD and Johnny Cash singing a duet before it showed up on my tumblr feed.

Okay, back to the neverending To-Do list--be good to yourselves, it's going to be a long winter...

hi, hi, hello, I'm still alive, though, woof, I could give up the waking-up-at-4-a.m. thing my brain seems to be all about lately. I took yesterday off in an effort to chill and managed to vote w/o any issues and then D & I drove up into the mountains to catch at least a little of the autumn color. Chill was achieved, but I was still awake at 4 this morning, so, sigh.

A couple of links (my brain is not forming free thought very well atm, so list-ho):

I started writing a Joe/Nicky (The Immortals) PWP, and, uh, here's the 25 page backstory my brain insisted on before it got to the sex: kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight. I swear the pr0n is coming.

I'm not doing NaNo this year (it is too much time dedicated to a stressful thing at the exact wrong time of the year), but I am, once again, signing up for mini_wrimo. Tell me if you're signing up, too, and I'll try to cheer for you in the daily posts.

For those of you who have a nostalgic craving for Hamburger Helper, but can't make yourself buy the boxed stuff these days, I present 20-min, mostly from scratch dupes for Cheesy Italian Shells, Cheeseburger Macaroni, Beef Stroganoff, and (actually super-excellent and more like 45 min) Skillet Lasagna.

(It's been a really long month and we still have to get through the US elections so I'm not arguing with whatever my brain is deeming to be comfort strategies, but I can't feed D the processed stuff so I went down several internet rabbit holes & came up with some acceptable substitutes. Please, god, if you don't know what I mean by Hamburger Helper, do not take these links (except for the last one) as indicators of my cooking abilities.)

Also, did you know Dan Stevens narrates several Agatha Christie novels, complete with excellent voices and accents all around? His Poirot is sublime.

ciao, bellezze

Title: never spend all your love
Fandom: The Old Guard
Rating: Teen
Length: ~5500
Pairing: Team gen, with Joe/Nicky background
Notes: You didn't think my brain wasn't going to go roll around in all of that fabulous found-family canon, did you?

Spoilers for the events of the movie in general.

Summary: For all the weirdness of the new life Nile found herself in, it was--of all things--a grilled cheese sandwich that finally pushed her over the metaphorical edge.

Link (AO3): never spend all your love.

So, I have this Star Trek: Discovery fic that I've been writing since last December--I posted an update in January and then have been grinding away on the next part ever since, just, every night almost, plugging away on the g-doc that has all the unposted stuff I've written and I knew it was getting long, but I kept telling myself that there was a lot that didn't fit into this penultimate part, and I'd move that out when I finally got to the stopping point for this part.

Yeah, so I finally finished this part up and, um, it was 30k words, whoops? (Which brings the fic up to 60k+ already, so hey, novel, here we come.)

Anyway, it's the Pike/Tilly post-S2 fic that I've been yammering about for, yeah, 4 months now, and it's not quite finished but it is at a reasonable stopping point (unlike the January update, which was just a not-fun situation but my brain can only handle so much apparently.)

I find these two adorable in canon, but could not reconcile my internal vision of Pike with him in a relationship with an ensign 20 years his junior while on active duty, so clearly, I had to write about what happened next, right? right.

AnyAnyWay, I usually only post completed fic here, but this is obvs out of control and I am just thrilled to be at this point, so this what I've got so far: all your perfect imperfections, and thank you for putting up with my rambling.